I wanted to inquire about Hania and my mother, but I felt that
consciousness was leaving me again. I thought that black and yellow dogs
were dancing on their hind legs around my bed, and I looked at them.
Then again I seemed to hear the sounds of village fifes; at moments,
instead of the clock which hung opposite my bed, I saw a face look out
of the wall and draw back again. That was not a condition of complete
unconsciousness, but of fever and a scattering of thought; but it must
have lasted rather long.
At times I was a little better, and then I half recognized the faces
around my bed,--now my father, now the priest, now Kazio, now Doctor
Stanislav. I remember that among those faces was lacking one. I could
not make out which; but I know that I felt that lack, and I sought that
face instinctively.
One night when I had slept very soundly, I woke toward morning. The
lights were burning on the table. I was very, very weak. All at once I
discerned a person bent over the bed whom I did not know at first, but
at sight of whom I felt as well as if I had died and was taken into
heaven. That was a kind of angelic face; but so angelic, so sacred,
kind, with tears flowing out of its eyes, that I felt as though I were
preparing to weep. Then a spark of consciousness returned to me; it grew
bright in my eyes; and I called weakly in a low voice,--
"Mamma!"
The angelic face bent to my emaciated hand, lying motionless on the
coverlet, and pressed lips to it. I tried to raise myself, but felt pain
again in my temples; hence I exclaimed only,--
"Mamma! it pains!"
My mother, for it was she, had begun to change the bandages with ice,
which were on my head. That process had caused me no little suffering;
but now those sweet, beloved hands with careful delicacy began to move
around my poor slashed head, so that, not feeling the least pain, I
whispered,--
"Pleasant! Oh, pleasant!"
Thenceforward I had more consciousness; only toward evening I fell into
a fever; then I saw Hania, though when I was conscious I never saw her
near me. But I saw her always in some danger. At one time a wolf with
red eyes was rushing at her; again some one was carrying her away,--as
it were, Selim, as it were, not Selim, but with a face grown over with
black bristles and with horns on his head. Then I cried out sometimes;
and sometimes I begged that wolf, or that horned one, very politely and
humbly, not to carry her away. At those moments my mother placed her
hands on my forehead, and the evil visions vanished immediately.
At last the fever left me for good. I regained perfect consciousness.
That did not mean that I was in better health. Some other kind of
sickness attached itself, a certain unheard of weakness, under the
influence of which I was evidently sinking.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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