"It's a little difficult to explain, but the idea is this. At most
restaurants you can get a second help of anything for half-price, and
that is technically called a 'follow.' Now, if they didn't give you a
follow, that would be a Non-sequitur.... You do see that, don't you?"
There was a deadly silence.
"Five," I said cheerfully. "The last is Nottingham. I must confess," I
added magnanimously, "that I am a bit doubtful whether you would
actually find Nottingham in a kitchen."
"You don't say so!"
"Yes. My feeling is that you would be more likely to find the kitchen in
Nottingham. On the other hand, it is just possible that as Calais was
found engraven on Mary's heart, so--Oh, very well. Then it remains at
five."
* * * * *
Of course you think that as I only had five, I came out last. But you
are wrong. There is a pleasing rule in this game that, if you have any
word in your list which somebody else has, you cannot count it. And as
all the others had the obvious things--such as a nutmeg-grater or a
neck of mutton, or a nomlette--my five won easily. And you will note
that if only I had been allowed to count my gnats, it would have been
forty-five.
XXXVII. AN INFORMAL EVENING
Dinner was a very quiet affair. Not a soul drew my chair away from under
me as I sat down, and during the meal nobody threw bread about. We
talked gently of art and politics and things; and when the ladies left
there was no booby trap waiting for them at the door. In a word, nothing
to prepare me for what was to follow.
We strolled leisurely into the drawing-room. A glance told me the worst.
The ladies were in a cluster round Miss Power, and Miss Power was on the
floor. She got up quickly as we came in.
"We were trying to go underneath the poker," she explained. "Can you do
it?"
I waved the poker back.
"Let me see you do it again," I said. "I missed the first part."
"Oh, I can never do it. Bob, you show us."
Bob is an active young fellow. He took the poker, rested the end on the
floor, and then twisted himself underneath his right arm. I expected to
see him come up inside out, but he looked much the same after it.
However, no doubt his organs are all on the wrong side now.
"Yes, that's how I should do it," I said hastily.
But Miss Power was firm. She gave me the poker. I pressed it hard on the
floor, said good-bye to them all, and dived. I got half-way round, and
was supporting myself upside down by one toe and the slippery end of the
poker, when it suddenly occurred to me that the earth was revolving at
an incredible speed on its own axis, and that, in addition, we were
hurtling at thousands of miles a minute round the sun. It seemed
impossible in these circumstances that I should keep my balance any
longer; and as soon as I realised this the poker began to slip. I was in
no sort of position to do anything about it, and we came down heavily
together.
"Oh, what a pity!" said Miss Power. "I quite thought you'd done it."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account