Produced by Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. HTML version by Al Haines. Happy Hawkins by Robert Alexander Wason TO MY OLD PAL CONTENTS I THE DIAMOND DOT II CONVINCING A COOK III UNDER FIRE IV PROFESSIONAL DUTY V JUST MONODY--A MAN VI THE RACE VII MENTAL TREATMENT FOR A BROKEN LEG VIII THE LETTER IX ADRIFT AGAIN X A WINTER AT SLOCUM'S LUCK XI DRESS REFORM AT THE DIAMOND DOT XII THE LASSOO DUEL XIII BUSINESS IS BUSINESS XIV THE CHINESE QUESTION XV THE DIAMOND DOT AGAIN XVI THE HIGHER EDUCATION OF WOMAN XVII IN RETIREMENT XVIII CUPID XIX BARBIE MAKES A DISCOVERY XX RICHARD WHITTINGTON ARRIVES XXI HAPPY MAKES A DISCOVERY XXII A FRIENDLY GAME XXIII CAST STEEL XXIV FEMININE LOGIC XXV THE WAYS OF WOMANKIND XXVI A MODERN KNIGHT-ERRANT XXVII THE CREOLE BELLE XXVIII THE DAY OF THE WEDDING XXIX THE FINAL RECKONING XXX THE AFTERGLOW CHAPTER ONE THE DIAMOND DOT I wasn't really a Westerner an' that's why I'm so different from most of 'em. Take your regular bonie fide Westerner an' when he dies he don't turn to dust, he turns to alkali; but when it comes my turn to settle, I'll jest natchely become the good rich soil o' the Indiana cornbelt. I was born in Indiana and I never left it till after I was ten years old. That's about the time boys generally start out to hunt Injuns; but I kept on goin' till I found mine--but I didn't kill him--nor him me neither, as far as that goes. I allus did have the misfortune o' gettin' hungry at the most inconvenient times, an' after I 'd been gone about two weeks I got quite powerful hungry, so I natchely got a job waitin' on a lunch counter back in Omaha. The third day I was there I was all alone in the front room when in walked an Injun. He was about eight feet high, I reckon; and the fiercest Injun I ever see. I took one look at him a' then I dropped behind the counter and wiggled back to the kitchen where the boss was. I gasped out that the Injuns was upon us an' then I flew for my firearms. When the boss discovered that the Injun and fourteen doughnuts, almost new, had vanished, he was some put out, and after we had discussed the matter, I acted on his advice and came farther West. That business experience lasted me a good long while. I don't like business an' I don't blame any one who has to follow it for a livin' for wantin' to have a vacation so he can get out where the air is fit to breathe. Just imagine bein' hived up day after day with nothin' to see but walls an' nothin' to do but customers. You first got to be friendly with your visitors to make 'em feel at home, an' then you got to get as much of their money as you can in order to keep on bein' friendly with 'em in order to keep on gettin' as much of their money as you can.