Chilvern says we must have a hostess. We all suppose, doubtfully, that we must. I ask, Won't that interfere with our arrangements? Boodels replies, that "we can't have any arrangements without a hostess." He says, after some consideration, that he has got a Grandmother who might be useful. Chilvern, deferentially, proposes an Aunt of his own, but does not, as it were, press her upon us, on account of some infirmities of temper. I've got a half-sister who was a widow about the time I was born, and if she's not in India .... On the whole we think that if Boodels would have no objection to his grandmother coming..... "Not in the least," says Boodels. "I think she can stand a fortnight of it or so." Carried nem. con. Boodels' grandmother to be lent for three weeks, and to be returned safely. _Happy Thought (to suggest to ladies)._--Why shouldn't there be a sisterhood of chaperons? Let somebody start it. "Oh!" says a young lady, "I can't go there wherever it is, because I can't go alone, and I haven't got a chaperon." Now carry out the idea. The young lady goes to The Home (this sort of establishment is always a Home--possibly because people to be hired are never _not_ at home),--well, she goes to the Home, sees the lady superioress or manageress, who asks her what sort of a chaperon she wants. She doesn't exactly know; but say, age about 50, cheerful disposition, polished manners. Good. Down comes photograph book. Young lady inspects chaperons and selects one. She comes downstairs. "Is she," asks the lady manageress, "to be dressed for evening or for day, a fête or for what?" Well then, that's all settled. Terms, so much an hour, and something for herself. What the French call a _pour boire_. This is a genuinely good idea, and one to be adopted, I am sure. What an excellent profession for ladies of good family and education, of a certain age, and an uncertain income. They might form a Social Beguinage, on the model of the one at Ghent. No vows. All sorts of dresses. All sorts of feeding. Respectable address. And a Home. Boodels' grandmother, it turns out, is deaf. Here again what a recommendation for a chaperon! and how very few employments are open to deaf people. No harmless, bodily ailment would disqualify, except a violent cold and sneezing. A chaperon with a song: useful. Consider this idea in futuro. Put it down and assist the others in our list. We ought to make our company a good salad. I propose my friend, Jenkyns Soames. Jenkyns Soames is a scientific man. "We mustn't be _dull_," says Boodels, which I feel is covertly an objection to my friend. [Illustration: JENKYNS SOAMES, ESQ. (_Professor of Scientific Economy._)] Chilvern says that he thinks we ought to have an old man. What for? Well, ... he hesitates, then says, politely, that with all young ones, won't Mrs. Boodels be rather dull? (_Happy Thought._--Old man for Mrs. Boodels, to talk to her through her ear-trumpet.)