----- Boodels says that, practically, a Cricketing Eleven means something of this sort, being, generally speaking, merely a society organised for the purpose of staying at other people's houses free of charge. Cazell wishes to know if we are going to waste our time in talking nonsense, or are we going to settle about our guests? The question, I say, is whether my proposal _is_ nonsense or not. Chilvern hopes we'll make out our list. Jenkyns Soames settled. Byrton ditto. Old Mrs. Boodels. [Illustration: BYRTON, AN ETONIAN, IN TWO FORMS. _Upper Form._ _Lower Form._] [Illustration: BOODELS' GRANDMOTHER. (_Now._)] [Illustration: BOODELS' GRANDMOTHER AT EIGHTEEN. (_Then._)] _Happy Thought (on seeing these pictures)._--To ask Boodels' grandmother "_then_." Milburd votes for asking the Chertons. Capital girls, he says, and appeals to Boodels. Boodels opines that--yes, they are very nice girls. "No humbug about them," says Milburd. With this recommendation we put down the Chertons. Miss Adelaide and Miss Bella. [Illustration: ADELAIDE CHERTON. _Happy Thought._--Pine Apple Style.] [Illustration: BELLA CHERTON.] Boodels says that, as they often go on a visit to his grandmother, she can bring them both. Settled. Boodels lends us a butler. Pious, with a turn for hymns in the pantry. Milburd brings a valet. A sociable creature, with an inclination to be affable, and join in the conversation round the dinner-table. [Illustration: OUR BUTLER.] Milburd presents us with a groom, whose wife cooks. The groom himself has waited at table occasionally. At first he says "Woa" to the vegetables and the sauces. He cannons against the butler, and tells the dogs to "get out, carn't yer!" After a few days he is in good training. [Illustration: OUR GROOM.] Byrton brings a soldier-servant who will only attend to his master. The Chertons have a ladies' maid, who affects the latest fashion, but is a failure in gloves. [Illustration: THE CHERTONS' MAID.] Mrs. Boodels' maid is an elderly female. The vinegar in the kitchen salad. [Illustration: MRS. BOODELS' MAID.] We engage, on her recommendation, a housemaid, and a charwoman of irreproachable antecedents. Chilvern, who gives himself a holiday, brings his clerk, a sharp little fellow of sixteen, to clean the boots, and render himself generally useful. The first day he was impudent to Mrs. Boodels' maid, and was thrashed by Byrton's servant. He is now quiet and subservient. [Illustration: OUR PRETTY PAGE.] CHAPTER VIII. A MORNING DISCUSSION. ON DEAFNESS--ESCAPES--BUTTONHOLED--A DISCUSSION--MORNING LOST--RAGE --DESPAIR. "Deaf people are very happy," says Boodels, thoughtfully.