PENELOPE ANNE. The Curtain being drawn up:-- _The scene represents a public room in the small Hotel above-mentioned, at Aix-la-Chapelle._ _Doors R.H. and L.H. Also a door C. leading on to a garden._ _Time, late in Autumn._ _On the table are various papers, books, &c._ _Enter COX._ _Everybody applauds him. The Signor says, aloud, "_Oh 'ow good! eet is Deeck_," and looks about, proud of his penetration of his nephew's disguise, when Madame observes, "_Mr. Regniati, if you can't be quiet, you'd better go out_," whereupon the Signor confines himself to smiling and nodding to different people among the audience, intimating thereby his intense satisfaction with everything that is taking place on the stage._ [Illustration: COUNT COXO.] _COX is in full tourist style of the most recent fashion. Over this he wears a top-coat and round his throat a cache-nez. In one hand he holds a large glass of water._ _He walks up and down on entering. Drinks a little. Takes off his coat, which he throws on the sofa. Then drinks again. Then walks. Then removes the cache-nez, which he throws on to coat, then he stands still and respires freely._ COX. Phew! I'm only gradually cooling. This is the sixth day I've taken the waters of Aix-la-Chapelle ... and I'm beginning to be so sulphurous all over, that, if anybody was to rub against me suddenly, I should ignite and go off with a bang. I've written to my friend Box an account of it. I haven't seen Box for some years; but as I particularly wish him to remain in England just now, I've commenced a correspondence with him. I've told him that the doctor's orders here are very simple .... "Herr Cox," says he to me--Herr's German--I must explain that to Box, because, though Box is a good fellow, yet--he's--in fact--he's an ass. "Herr Cox," says he, "you must drink a glass of sulphur wasser." Wasser's German too; it didn't take long for my naturally fine intellect to discover that it meant water. But Box doesn't know it ... for though he's an excellent fellow, he is--in fact he's an ignoramus. "Herr Cox," says he to me, "you must take the sulphur wasser, and then walk about." "What next, Herr Doctor?" says I. Note to Box. _Herr Doctor_ doesn't mean that he's anything to do with a _Hair_-cutter. No, it's the respectful German for Mister--must explain that to Box, for though he's a tiptop chap, yet Box is--is--in fact, Box is a confounded idiot. "Herr Doctor," says I, "what next?" "Well," says he "when you've taken the sulphur water and walked about, then you must walk about and take the sulphur water." Simple. The first glass ... ugh! I shan't forget it. I never could have imagined, till that moment, what the taste of a summer beverage made of curious old eggs ... a trifle over ripe ... beaten up with a lucifer match, would be like ... now I know. But I was not to be conquered.