The dangerous maniac obeyed, and went and sat beside Alfred with a basin of thick gruel and a great wooden spoon. He shovelled the gruel down his charge's throat mighty superciliously from the very first; and presently, falling into some favourite and absorbing train of thought, he fixed his eye on vacancy, and handed the spoonfuls over his left shoulder with such rapidity and recklessness that it was more like sowing than feeding. Alfred cried out “Quarter! I can't eat so fast as that, old fellow.” Something in his tone struck the maniac; he looked at Alfred full, Alfred looked at him in return, and smiled kindly but sadly. “Hallo!” cried the maniac. “What's up now?” said a keeper fiercely. “Why this man is sane. As sane as I am.” At this there was a horse laugh. “Saner,” persisted the maniac; “for I am a little queer at times, you know.” “And no mistake, Jemmy. Now what makes you think he is sane?” “Looked me full in the face, and smiled at me.” “Oh, that is your test, is it?” “Yes, it is. You try it on any of those mad beggars there and see if they can stand it.” “Who invented gunpowder?” said one of the insulted persons, looking as sly and malicious as a magpie going to steal. Jemmy exploded directly: “I did, ye rascal, ye liar, ye rogue, ye Baconian!” and going higher, and higher in this strain, was very soon handcuffed with Alfred's handcuffs, and seated on Alfred's bench and tied to two rings in the wall. On this his martial ardour went down to zero: “Here is treatment, sir,” said he piteously to Alfred. “I see you are a gentleman; now look at this. All spite and jealousy because I invented that invaluable substance, which has done so much to prolong human life and alleviate human misery.” Alfred was now ordered to feed Jemmy; which he did: so quickly were their parts inverted. Directly after breakfast Alfred demanded to see the proprietor of the asylum. Answer: Doesn't live here. The Doctor then. Oh, he has not come. This monstrosity irritated Alfred: “Well, then,” said he, “whoever it is that rules this den of thieves, when those two are out of it.” “I rule in Mr. Baker's absence,” said the head keeper, “and I'll teach you manners, you young blackguard. Handcuff him.” In five minutes Alfred was handcuffed and flung into a padded room. “Stay there till you know how to speak to your betters,” said the head keeper. Alfred walked up and down grinding his teeth with rage for five long hours. Just before dinner Brown came and took him into a parlour, where Mrs. Archbold was seated writing. Brown retired. The lady finished what she was doing, and kept Alfred standing like a schoolboy going to be lectured. At last she said, “I have sent for you to give you a piece of advice: it is to try and make friends with the attendants.” “Me make friends with the scoundrels! I thirst for their lives. Oh, madam, I fear I shall kill somebody here.”