"Soon after the close of the American Revolution, a deputation of Indian chiefs having some business to transact with the Governor, were invited to dine with some of the officials in Philadelphia. During the repast, the eyes of a young chief were attracted to a castor of _mustard_, having in it a spoon ready for use. Tempted by its bright color, he gently drew it toward him, and soon had a brimming spoonful in his mouth. Instantly detecting his mistake, he nevertheless had the fortitude to swallow it, although it forced the tears from his eyes. "A chief opposite, at the table, who had observed the consequence, but not the cause, asked him 'What he was crying for?' He replied that he was 'thinking of his father, who was killed in battle.' Soon after, the questioner himself, prompted by curiosity, made the same experiment, with the same result, and in turn was asked by the younger Sachem 'What _he_ was crying for?' '_Because you were not killed when your father was_,' was the prompt reply." * * * * * Old Matthews, the most comic of all modern comic _raconteurs_, when in this country used to relate the following illustration of the manner in which the cool assumption of a "flunkey" was rebuked by an eccentric English original, one Lord EARDLEY, whose especial antipathy was, to have his servants of the class called "fine gentlemen:" "During breakfast one day, Lord Eardley was informed that a person had applied for a footman's place, then vacant. He was ordered into the room, and a double refined specimen of the _genus_ so detested by his lordship made his appearance. The manner of the man was extremely affected and consequential, and it was evident that my lord understood him at a glance; moreover, it was as evident he determined to lower him a little. "'Well, my good fellow,' said he, 'you want a lackey's place, do you?' "'I came about an upper footman's situation, my lord,' said the gentleman, bridling up his head. "'Oh, do ye, do ye?' replied Lord Eardley; 'I keep no upper servants; all alike, all alike here.' "'Indeed, my lord!' exclaimed this upper footman, with an air of shocked dignity. 'What _department_ then am I to consider myself expected to fill?' "'Department! department!' quoth my lord, in a tone like inquiry. "'In what _capacity_, my lord?' "My lord repeated the word capacity, as if not understanding its application to the present subject. "'I mean, my lord,' explained the man, 'what shall I be expected to do, if I take the _situation_?' "'Oh, you mean if you take the place. I understand you now,' rejoined my lord; 'why, you're to do every thing but sweep the chimneys and clean the pig-sties, and _those I do myself_.' "The _gentleman_ stared, scarcely knowing what to make of this, and seemed to wish himself out of the room; he, however, grinned a ghastly smile, and, after a short pause, inquired what _salary_ his lordship gave!