"I guess this must be the information I want about your lockjaw," said
the Merboy, picking up an envelope. "Yes," he continued, as he took
great slips of paper out of it. "It is. This envelope tells how to take
spots out of carpets. Ha! ha! Listen to this: 'To remove an ink stain
from the parlor carpet, take a pair of shears and cut out the spotted
part.' That's good advice. Here's another telling how to start a fire.
It says: 'First build your fire, and then procure a match. Any kind of
match will do except one that has already been used. Light the match and
apply the burning end to the kindling. If the kindling ignites, the fire
is started. If it does not, light another match and apply the burning
end to the kindling. Keep this up until the kindling does ignite!'"
[Illustration: JIMMIEBOY SAW A HUGE WHALE RUSHING DOWN TOWARD THEM.]
As the Merboy finished reading this a great commotion was heard in the
water directly overhead, and looking up Jimmieboy saw a huge whale
rushing headlong down toward him. At first he was a little frightened,
but as the whale drew nearer and smiled pleasantly at him his fear for
some reason or another disappeared entirely.
"Hullo, Merby," said the Whale. "What are you doing?"
"I'm after information," returned the Merboy, shaking the extended
flipper of the Whale.
"So am I," returned the Whale. "I'm in great trouble."
"Indeed?" said the Merboy. "What's the matter?"
"I got into a fight with some whalers in the Arctic Ocean, and one of
'em threw a harpoon at me, and it stuck in my back. I want to get it
out, but I don't know how. Which drawer has information for Whales in
it?"
"I don't know," replied the Merboy. "I'm trying to find out what's the
matter with Jimmieboy here. I'm afraid he's got lockjaw, but the only
thing the bureau has told me so far is how to take spots out of carpets
and start fires."
"What nonsense!" said the Whale. "Let me try it, will you? I'm suffering
like everything."
"Certainly," said the Merboy, standing aside. "There isn't any special
hurry about our case."
The Whale smiled gratefully and grabbed up an envelope. Opening it he
extracted a slip of paper, and read:
"'To make a good peach pie get ten ripe sliced peaches, a tin plate, and
enough dough to cover first the bottom of the plate and the top of the
peaches. Put the whole into a hot oven and cook until done.'"
"Ho!" laughed the Merboy.
"This bureau's a nuisance," said the Whale. "The idea of telling a
sea-monster with a harpoon in his back how to make peach pie."
Here he selected another envelope. This one contained a slip which read:
"It is not polite to sneeze in company. If you like to sneeze, and are
going out to an evening party, contrive to do all your sneezing before
you go. If during the evening party you feel a sneeze coming on, rub the
bridge of your nose, or press the middle of your upper lip with your
forefinger, and the desire to sneeze will disappear."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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