College stories; College students -- Fiction; Harvard University -- Fiction; Short stories, American
“Be honest with me, Curtiss.” Hewitt spoke in the distinct, simple tones
that as a rule accompany words one hesitates to trifle with. “You’ve
gone through the whole damn thing yourself, and got more out of it--not
more than you deserve, of course, but more than most men get; you knew
everybody and belonged to--to--” Hewitt hesitated a moment; any single
college institution--social, athletic, or intellectual--did not in
itself forcibly appeal to him; there was something petty in
particularising. “You belonged to--to everything, when you were in
college,” he finally said; “how was it done--how is it done every day? I
see it going on around me all the time; but I can’t touch it in any
way,--it never comes near enough, if you know what I mean; and what I
can’t explain to myself is that I don’t see why it should come any
nearer to me,--only, I want it to.” The manner in which Horace blurted
out the last few words was an epitome of the situation; their confession
of keen longing to know and be known in his class had gathered intensity
with the growing suspicion that certain conditions of the
place--conditions he felt rather than understood--were every day making
the realisation of his desire for activity, acquaintances, friendship,
more impossible. His great common sense--in Hewitt the quality amounted
to a sort of prosaic talent--would always preclude his degenerating into
one of the impotently rebellious; it had kept him free from the
slightest tinge of bitterness toward any one, but it had not made his
interminable, solitary walks up Brattle Street (there was apparently no
other walk to take in Cambridge) less interminable; it had enlivened
none of the stolid evenings in his rooms which, with a necessary amount
of study, a chapter or two from some book he did not much care about,
and a bottle of beer, always came to an end somehow or other in spite of
themselves; it had not invested stupid theatres with interest, nor
mediocre athletics with excitement. Common sense, the prevailing trait
of Hewitt’s character, that induced the middle-aged to consider him
“singularly well balanced for a young man,” was quite powerless to
dispel the desperate loneliness of his sophomore year. His common sense
was a coat of mail that defied sabre thrusts, perhaps, but let in the
rain.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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