Harvard Stories: Sketches of the UndergraduatePost, Waldron Kintzing
History
Harvard Stories: Sketches of the Undergraduate
Post, Waldron Kintzing
College stories, American; College students -- Fiction; Harvard University -- Fiction
The captain came down in a red dressing-gown, the skirt of which flapped
idly in the breeze that came through an open window in the office. His
bare feet were shoved into a pair of carpet slippers, each foot in the
wrong slipper. With one hand he held a candle that wiggled in the
candle-stick and dropped wax on his wrist, and with the other hand tried
to keep the dressing-gown about his person. His frame of mind faithfully
carried out the spirit of the picture. To any guilty prisoner he would
have been indeed a terrifying spectacle; but he could do nothing to the
innocent and insulted gentlemen who had been haled before him. He
therefore relieved himself on their captor. The poor man got such a
dressing down, that when they left the office, Randolph presented him
with full forgiveness, a dollar bill, and the advice to learn as soon as
possible to tell a Senior from a Freshman.
The next policeman they met was old George Smith. He held them up with a
look of surprise, and a remark that he thought they had been in college
too long to be "ragging" barber's poles. When they explained to him,
however, he of course believed them, and grinned as he perceived
something in the wind.
"It is lucky that was George," said Stoughton, as they went on. "If we
had struck a strange cop, who thought we were liars, we should have
brought down the wrong bird. That police captain is just exactly primed
and loaded to the muzzle, and all ready to go off. Now for Bullam!"
They had now reached Quincy Square, and saw the fated form of Bullam
loom in the offing. They made for him boldly; there was no need of
finessing in his case. The moment his hawk eye caught sight of the
ill-concealed pole, he bore down on them with a grim joy.
"What have you got under that coat?" he demanded in his usual suave
tone.
"None of your business," responded Jack Randolph, with an inward
chuckle.
"It isn't, eh! Do you think I can't see that pole a-sticking out there?
Do you think you can steal signs under my very nose? You come along with
me now, and we'll see whether it's none of my business."
"If your insulting remarks refer to this barber-pole," replied Randolph,
producing the pole with ostentatious confidence, "allow me to tell you
that it belongs to us, and we have a perfect right to carry it wherever
we please. Although, as I said before, it is none of your business, I
will condescend to let you know that I bought it lately, and have a
receipt for it in my pocket."
"You can't give me no such bluff as that," sneered Bullam. "You can tell
that to the captain of the precinct. I'll give you a chance to show your
receipt."
"Look here, my man," (nothing makes a gentleman of Bullam's class more
angry than to call him "my man") answered Stoughton, "you don't deserve
it after the language you have used to us, but, nevertheless, I give you
fair warning not to do anything of the kind. If you take us to the
captain, you will get into trouble."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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