Harvard Stories: Sketches of the UndergraduatePost, Waldron Kintzing
History
Harvard Stories: Sketches of the Undergraduate
Post, Waldron Kintzing
College stories, American; College students -- Fiction; Harvard University -- Fiction
Rattleton during this speech had been playing with the puppy, and he was
struck both by the brightness of the little fellow and the logic of his
owner. He knew that Blathers really did have rather hard times with his
family. In any case Lazy Jack never took the trouble to sift a tale of
woe and apply the most enlightened and efficient remedy. He had no
excuse for not doing so; he took the Social Ethics Course in Philosophy
because it was easy, and of course he knew how wrong it is to give to a
beggar; nevertheless, he rarely failed to do so if he had a coin in his
pocket, because it was so much easier than making enquiries and giving
advice. Moreover Jack was so lacking in principles, that if he thought
the beggar looked cold and in want of a hot whiskey, he was, if
anything, more apt to yield the ill-destined alms. In this instance the
insidious Blathers had struck him in two vulnerable spots, his very weak
nature, and his love of dogs. He also wanted to get rid of Blathers with
his endless stream of lurid and decidedly rum-flavored eloquence, and
the easiest way to do so was to buy the puppy.
It was in his master's Sophomore year that Blathers, the pup, began his
career. He waxed fast in beauty and knowledge. His nose grew in and his
teeth grew out, his ears assumed the correct angle and his legs the
proper curve. His tail in babyhood had been scientifically bitten off by
the gentleman after whom he was named, and was, therefore, of exactly
the right length. He went through the distemper and gave it to every dog
in his club. His spirit did not belie his points; before the end of his
junior year he had tackled almost every dog in Cambridge and generally
came out on top. He was a dog of marvellous tact, also; he learned not
to growl at the proctor on his staircase. Rattleton spent much time on
Blather's education--so did Rattleton's friends. The latter, among other
accomplishments, succeeded after great effort in teaching him to drink
beer; but Blathers never went beyond the bounds of propriety, as did
frequently that disreputable Irish terrier of Dixey's.
Blather's most prominent virtue of all was devotion to his master, and
his affection was fully returned. Those two were rarely apart, except in
the mornings, before Rattleton was up. Blathers always got out with the
nine o'clock lecture men and chapel goers, and would visit around at the
various club-tables where he had friends, generally collecting five or
six breakfasts before his master arose. At about eleven o'clock he would
be seen, sitting with his arms akimbo, in front of the Holly Tree; then
Jack was sure to be inside, getting the marvellous dropped eggs from the
sad-eyed John. If ever Blathers frequented the steps of Massachusetts,
Sever, or other lecture hall, all men would know that Jack Rattleton was
again on probation. If they saw the dog on the grim stone Stair of Sighs
in the south entrance of University, they would make sympathetic
inquiries when next they met the master.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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