Harvard Stories: Sketches of the UndergraduatePost, Waldron Kintzing
History
Harvard Stories: Sketches of the Undergraduate
Post, Waldron Kintzing
College stories, American; College students -- Fiction; Harvard University -- Fiction
"Now, Jack," he said, "you know the important points and main
definitions in that course pretty well. Just remember that all that is
good is Greek, and all that is Greek is good, and no modern work from
the Brooklyn Bridge to a beer mug is worthy of aught save the abhorrence
of cultivated men. If the exam is in Sever, you might throw in an
allusion to the draughts and foul air in that modern pile of bricks. Now
how about Pol. Econ. 23? Let's see, does Jowler give that still? Well,
you are morally certain to have a question on the Tariff of '46--that is
his pet. Be certain that the country has never been more prosperous than
under that tariff. Of course, there was the discovery of gold and other
causes of prosperity at the same time, but unless you know all about
them, and can explain them away, don't touch on them at all. Jowler is a
free trader, bear that in mind. I will do him the justice to say that he
would be delighted if you knew enough about the course and were clever
enough to make any strong points for protection; but you are not, so
don't try it. Stick to plain, first principles, and show that the
country is going to the devil."
"Gad, Ned," said Rattleton, shaking his head in mournful admiration, "it
is a great thing to have learned so much. I have wasted my advantages
awfully."
"Constant application, my son," quoth Burleigh, (who for three years had
been on the ragged edge of probation, and had been saved only by his
high marks), "strict attendance on lectures, and careful attention to
the great men under whom it is our privilege to sit. Even if you never
go near the library, you can learn much in the lecture-room. Now I must
leave you; I am going to a seminar over in College House."
"All right, I have got to leave, too," said Jack, looking at his watch.
"There is a grinding bee in entrance Greek, in Jim de Laye's room--lot
of foolish virgins like myself, who have put off the job until Senior
year, and are doing their school work now. By the way, I promised to
collar a mucker to drive the horse."
"Get my friend, Mr. James Casey; very intelligent young man; understands
the job thoroughly. You will undoubtedly find him playing duck-on-a-rock
in a vacant lot back of Holyoke, or badgering the Dago fruit-man on the
corner. If you don't find him, drop a package of cigarettes somewhere,
and watch it; you will catch a mucker right away."
"A better way than that," said Jack, "is to chain Blathers to the iron
railing of the Pudding, and stand behind the door. In five minutes all
the best talent in muckerdom will be there with tin-cans and stones."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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