Harvard Stories: Sketches of the UndergraduatePost, Waldron Kintzing
History
Harvard Stories: Sketches of the Undergraduate
Post, Waldron Kintzing
College stories, American; College students -- Fiction; Harvard University -- Fiction
Jack had no need, however, to expose his faithful hound. He found a
covey of muckers, in the vacant lot before mentioned, and on demanding
whether any of them could read, was at once besieged with volunteers to
"drive the pony." "Chimmie" Casey was among them, and Jack secured his
services. "Chimmie" had been at school to some advantage, for he could
read Bohn's translations with great fluency (which is the English of
"driving the pony"), and made many a half dollar by his learning.
Jack took him round to De Laye's room, where eight or ten men were
already assembled, with books, pipes, and siphons of seltzer, ready for
the services. The mucker was put in the middle of the room with the
"trot"; the students sat around him and followed the translation in
their Greek texts. The following is a short specimen of Prof. Casey's
flowing delivery of the _Iliad_:
"Den puttin' on deir shinin' mail, dey moved apart from de great crowd
of admirin' Trojans and well-greased Greeks. Den Jones spake----"
"What!"
"I can't say dese hard names. Mr. Burleigh told me to call 'em all Jones
when I got stuck."
"All right, go ahead."
"Jones spake wid words of hate. 'Dog-eyed son of--son of--' Gosh! dat's
a hard name to call a feller."
"Let it go at Jones."
"'Dog-eyed son of Jones [I must learn dat], now shalt dou meet dy doom.
To him Jones, de god-like son o' Jones--' say, how did dese fellers all
have different names from der faders?"
"Never mind; go on with the trot."
"'T'ink not to turn my heart to water wid your vauntin' words' [always
jawin' before dey fight].
"He spake and t'rew his mighty spear and struck full in de midst of
Jones' buckler round. It pierced eight folds of tough bull-hide and
t'rough de brazen breastplate and cut de linen vest beneat' [dat Jones
was a daisy]. Den Jones, poisin' his mighty spear, prayed to Jove: 'Oh,
fader Jove, wreak now meet punishment on dis offender; send him to de
shades by my arm,'--say, what's he always stoppin' to talk to dat feller
for in de middle of a scrap?"
"Shut up and go on!"
"He trew his spear in turn, but de point fell harmless. Den again he
cried aloud: 'Oh, fader Jove, dou art de most unkind'--was Jove de
referee?"
"Look here, Jamesey, if you don't stop talking we'll dock your pay."
"Den sure de light had sped from Jones' eyes, but mudder Venus, when she
saw her son hard-pressed, flew to his side. From de field she bore him
far from Jones' wrat', wrapped in a hollow cloud [de h---- she did!
Dat's de silliest fight ever I hear on.]"
At the end of the "grinding bee" young Mr. Casey was dismissed with
coins, a cigarette, and advice to restrict his annotations in future
lectures.
Rattleton struggled along in his new mode of life for a week or two
longer, until his last examination a few days before Class Day. Ned had
sent him to bed early on the night before. At breakfast, and on the way
over to University, Nestor gave his final advice.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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