Coming up behind my chair, it bent low over me, and placing its
long, cool spirit hands over my eyelids, imparted to me a steadily
increasing sense of numbness. All thought was gradually annihilated;
it was succeeded by a blank, just such a blank as suddenly comes to
one when in the hands of the anæsthetist. Now, up to this evening,
I had presumed, as nearly everybody does presume, that, in the case
of mental blanks, every particle of consciousness is lost, totally
arrested, and held, for the time being, in complete subjection. But
on this occasion--at the very moment memory reasserted itself--I had
recollections of some great metempsychosis, some stupendous change in
my entire constitution, a change that affected all that we term mind,
and spirit, and soul.
I struggled earnestly and desperately to recall the exact nature and
process of that change, which I now believe underlies all so-called
blanks, and I achieved this much: I recalled travel--a mad, rushing
plunge or descent into something--something quite different from
anything I had known before--a descent into some plane, or sphere, or
condition, wholly and completely apart from the physical, and what is
generally understood and classified as the mental plane, sphere, or
condition. In my efforts to recollect, I have arrived at that same
pitch since; but whenever I have been on the verge of getting beyond
it, of forcing back a minute recollection of how that metempsychosis
was enacted, of all the stages in it, there has been a lapse--my memory
has dimmed. Yet brief and slight as these remembrances have been, they
have assured me of one great truth, namely--that the state of blank
never actually exists. Some part of us--the part that alone retains
consciousness--is extracted and borne far away from the actual material
body; but on its return, on its reunion with the physical--with our
gross and carnal, earthly self--all memory of this delicate and finely
poised consciousness is at once swallowed up and obliterated. If such
were not the case, if everything were indeed a blank, and the spiritual
as well as the material part of us were suspended during what we term
unconsciousness, we should be forced to the conclusion that the soul
has no separate existence, that it cannot survive the body, and that
the immortality of man, the infinite perpetuation of our identity, in
which we have so fondly believed, is but a chimera. I am, however,
certain--I could, if need be, swear to it--that even in the deepest
slumber, in the wildest delirium, in the most seemingly omnipotent
and annihilating blank, all is not lost, something remains, and that
something is the psychic and spiritual consciousness, the very thing
that constitutes what we term soul. In the first stage, then, of my
cognisance of thought, again I struggled with memory, and the struggle
overcoming me, I gradually lapsed into the mere consciousness of
existence without thought. How long this condition lasted I cannot
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