=Transcriber’s Note:= A page of adverts has been moved to the end of the book. HAY FEVER A LIGHT COMEDY IN THREE ACTS BY NOEL COWARD [Illustration] LONDON: ERNEST BENN LIMITED _8 Bouverie Street, E.C. 4_ 1925 MADE AND PRINTED IN GREAT BRITAIN _First Impression_ _June, 1925_ _Second Impression_ _August, 1925_ _Copyright 1925 by Noel Coward. All rights reserved._ _Application regarding performing rights should be addressed to the author, care of the publishers._ TO LORN LORAINE CHARACTERS JUDITH BLISS DAVID BLISS SOREL BLISS SIMON BLISS MYRA ARUNDEL RICHARD GREATHAM JACKIE CORYTON SANDY TYRELL CLARA _The action of the play takes place in the hall of the BLISSES’ house at Cookham, in June._ ACT I: _Saturday afternoon._ ACT II: _Saturday evening._ ACT III: _Sunday morning._ ACT I ACT I SCENE: _The hall of DAVID BLISS’S house is very comfortable and extremely untidy. There are several of SIMON’S cartoons scattered about the walls, masses of highly coloured American and classical music strewn about the piano, and lots of flowers and comfortable furniture. A staircase ascends to a small balcony leading to the bedrooms, DAVID’S study and SIMON’S room. There is a door leading to the library down R. A service door above it under the stairs. There are French windows at back, and the front door on the L._ [_When the curtain rises it is about three o’clock on a Saturday afternoon in June._ [_SIMON, in an extremely dirty tennis shirt and baggy grey flannel trousers, is crouched in the middle of the floor, cutting out squares from cartridge paper._ [_SOREL, more neatly dressed, is stretched on the sofa, reading a very violently bound volume of poems which have been sent to her by an aspiring friend._ SOREL: Listen to this, Simon. (_She reads._) “Love’s a Trollop stained with wine—Clawing at the breasts of Adolescence—Nuzzling, tearing, shrieking, beating—God, why were we fashioned so!” (_She laughs._) SIMON: The poor girl’s potty. SOREL: I wish she hadn’t sent me the beastly book. I must say something nice about it. SIMON: The binding’s very dashing. SOREL: She used to be such fun before she married that gloomy little man. SIMON: She was always a fierce _poseuse_. It’s so silly of people to try and cultivate the artistic temperament. _Au fond_ she’s just a normal, bouncing Englishwoman. SOREL: You didn’t shave this morning. SIMON: I know I didn’t, but I’m going to in a minute, when I’ve finished this. SOREL: I sometimes wish we were more normal and bouncing, Simon. SIMON: Why?