Hay fever : $b A light comedy in three acts — John Shaqi
Hay fever : $b A light comedy in three actsCoward, Noël
General
Hay fever : $b A light comedy in three acts
Coward, Noël
Comedy plays; English drama (Comedy); Families -- Drama; Psychological games -- Drama
JACKIE: Have you travelled a lot?
RICHARD (_modestly_): A good deal.
JACKIE: How lovely.
[_There is a pause._
RICHARD: Spain is very beautiful.
JACKIE: Yes, I’ve always heard Spain was awfully nice.
RICHARD: Except for the bull-fights. No one who ever really loved horses
could enjoy a bull-fight.
JACKIE: Nor anyone who loved bulls either.
RICHARD: Exactly.
JACKIE: Italy’s awfully nice, isn’t it?
RICHARD: Oh, yes, charming.
JACKIE: I’ve always wanted to go to Italy.
RICHARD: Rome is a beautiful city.
JACKIE: Yes, I’ve always heard Rome was lovely.
RICHARD: And Naples and Capri—Capri’s enchanting.
JACKIE: It must be.
RICHARD: Have you ever been abroad at all?
JACKIE: Oh, yes; I went to Dieppe once—we had a house there for the
summer.
RICHARD (_kindly_): Dear little place—Dieppe.
JACKIE: Yes, it was lovely.
[_JUDITH comes downstairs, followed by SANDY, with his arms
full of cushions. She motions him out into the garden, sits
down and puts on her goloshes, and then follows him._
JACKIE: Well!
RICHARD: Russia used to be a wonderful country before the war.
JACKIE: It must have been.... Was that her?
RICHARD: Who?
JACKIE: Judith Bliss.
RICHARD: Yes, I expect it was.
JACKIE: I wish I’d never come.
RICHARD: You mustn’t worry. They’re a very Bohemian family, I believe.
JACKIE: I wonder if Mr. Bliss knows I’m here.
RICHARD: I wonder.
JACKIE: Couldn’t we ring a bell, or anything?
RICHARD: Yes, perhaps we’d better. (_He finds bell and presses it._)
JACKIE: I don’t suppose it rings.
RICHARD: You mustn’t be depressed.
JACKIE: I feel horrid.
RICHARD: It’s always a little embarrassing coming to a strange house for
the first time. You’ll like Sorel—she’s charming.
JACKIE (_desperately_): I wonder where she is.
RICHARD (_consolingly_): I expect tea will be here soon.
JACKIE: Do you think they _have_ tea?
RICHARD (_alarmed_): Oh, yes—they must.
JACKIE: Oh, well, we’d better go on waiting, then. (_She sits down._)
RICHARD: Do you mind if I smoke?
JACKIE: Not a bit.
RICHARD: Will you?
JACKIE: No, thank you.
RICHARD (_sitting down_): I got this case in Japan. It’s pretty, isn’t it?
JACKIE: Awfully pretty.
[_They lapse into hopeless silence._
[_Enter SOREL, down stairs._
SOREL: Oh, Richard, I’m dreadfully sorry. I didn’t know you were here.
RICHARD: We’ve been here a good while.
SOREL: How awful! Please forgive me. I was upstairs.
RICHARD: This is Miss Coryton.
SOREL: Oh!
JACKIE: How-do-you-do.
SOREL: Have you come to see Father?
JACKIE: Yes.
SOREL: He’s in his study—you’d better go up.
JACKIE: I don’t know the way.
SOREL (_irritably_): Oh, well—I’ll take you. Come on. Wait a minute,
Richard. (_She takes her to the top of the stairs._) It’s along that
passage, and the third door on the right.
JACKIE: Oh, thank you. (_She goes out despondently._)
SOREL (_coming down again_): The poor girl looks half-witted.
RICHARD: She’s shy, I think.
SOREL: I hope Father will find her a comfort.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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