And then Hazel’s eyes were opened, figuratively and actually, and she
gazed upon him for some moments in mute wonder and some little distress.
While he spoke and acted like the Digby she had known so long, her
suspicions were not aroused, her mind being fully occupied with managing
him—smoothing the little difficulties that his importunities caused her,
keeping him at arm’s length instinctively, all unconscious that she was
doing so, or that there was any need to do so. But now the situation
began to dawn upon her. While he remained attentive to all her little
needs and wishes, displaying an odd admixture of slavish devotion and
proprietary authority, such as had characterised his attitude towards
her so long as she could remember—for even the rough schoolboy had
lorded it over the very small maiden—she had taken it all as a matter of
course—as Digby’s "way." For tenderness, shame-faced at first, had
crept in so imperceptibly, so gradually supplanting the old
rough-and-ready affection; and the old boyish, somewhat overbearing and
dictatorial manner had by such gentle degrees given place to another
sort of proprietariness, that these things seemed to have grown with his
growth; and the girl, beyond an occasional sense of annoyance at such
times, when Digby appeared rather trying and more difficult to manage
than of yore, had never given the matter a second thought. But now,
with this abrupt change of front, this veering round, so to say, from
eager and solicitous attention to a poorly assumed indifference,
manifestly born of a certain recklessness and of deeply felt resentment
against herself, a horrible suggestion presented itself to the girl’s
mind, and she looked at Digby Travers in wide-eyed dismay.
"I believe he is beginning to be a sort of lover," she said to herself,
and her heart beat a little faster.
She reflected upon this new problem at her ease, after she had been
safely bestowed in a first-class compartment with ladies, of whom Digby
had inquired their destination, committing Hazel to their charge.
Many little incidents recurred to her mind, that had puzzled her at the
time, but now seemed to explain themselves with unmistakable conviction.
"He must not be allowed to propose," for, strange and bewildering as it
seemed to the girl, yet, assuming him to be a lover, that was the young
man’s end and aim—"to propose: it would be too terrible." Besides, he
had no right to do so; Hazel must save him from himself—he was deceiving
himself: he was not a proper lover, a real lover. It was too absurd.
She almost laughed aloud at the absurdity of it. Intuitively her
thoughts turned to Paul for help. The next moment the girl had shrunk
within herself—her face aflame. The only place in the whole world that
presented itself to her imagination was her mother’s shoulder; but she
was all unconscious that it was from Paul she desired to hide her face.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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