He Knew Lincoln, and Other Billy Brown StoriesTarbell, Ida M. (Ida Minerva)
General
He Knew Lincoln, and Other Billy Brown Stories
Tarbell, Ida M. (Ida Minerva)
Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865 -- Anecdotes
“Yes, he was a mighty cute story-teller, but he knew what he was about
tellin’ ’em. I tell you he got more arguments out of stories than
he did out of law books, and the queer part was you couldn’t answer
’em--they just made you see it and you couldn’t get around it. I’m a
Democrat, but I’ll be blamed if I didn’t have to vote for Mr. Lincoln
as President, couldn’t help it, and it was all on account of that snake
story of his’n illustratin’ the takin’ of slavery into Kansas and
Nebraska. Remember it? I heard him tell it in a speech once.
“‘If I saw a pizen snake crawlin’ in the road,’ he says, ‘I’d kill it
with the first thing I could grab; but if I found it in bed with my
children, I’d be mighty careful how I touched it fear I’d make it bite
the children. If I found it in bed with somebody else’s children I’d
let them take care of it; but if I found somebody puttin’ a whole batch
of young snakes into an empty bed where mine or anybody’s children was
going to sleep pretty soon, I’d stop him from doin’ it if I had to
fight him.’ Perhaps he didn’t say ‘fight him,’ but somehow I always
tell that story that way because I know I would and so would he or you
or anybody. That was what it was all about when you come down to it.
They was tryin’ to put a batch of snakes into an empty bed that folks
was goin’ to sleep in.
“Before I heard that story I’d heard Lincoln say a hundred times,
settin’ right there in that chair, where you are, ‘Boys, we’ve got
to stop slavery or it’s goin’ to spread all over this country,’ but,
somehow, I didn’t see it before. Them snakes finished me. Then I knew
he’d got it right and I’d got to vote for him. Pretty tough, though,
for me to go back on Little ‘Doug.’ You see he was our great man, so we
thought. Been to the United States Senate and knew all the big bugs all
over the country. Sort o’ looked and talked great. Wan’t no comparison
between him and Lincoln in looks and talk. Of course, we all knew he
wa’n’t honest, like Lincoln, but blamed if I didn’t think in them days
Lincoln was too all-fired honest--kind of innocent honest. He couldn’t
stand it nohow to have things said that wan’t so. He just felt plumb
bad about lies. I remember once bein’ in court over to Decatur when
Mr. Lincoln was tryin’ a case. There was a fellow agin him that didn’t
have no prejudices against lyin’ in a lawsuit, and he was tellin’ how
Lincoln had said this an’ that, tryin’ to mix up the jury. It was
snowin’ bad outside, and Mr. Lincoln had wet his feet and he was tryin’
to dry ’em at the stove. He had pulled off one shoe and was settin’
there holdin’ up his great big foot, his forehead all puckered up,
listenin’ to that ornery lawyer’s lies. All at onct he jumped up and
hopped right out into the middle of the court-room.
“‘Now, Judge,’ he says, ‘that ain’t fair. I didn’t say no sich thing,
and he knows I didn’t. I ain’t goin’ to have this jury all fuddled up.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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