He that will not when he may; vol. IOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
He that will not when he may; vol. I
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
Still Janet said nothing. She stood with her eyes cast down, interlacing
her fingers in and out, out and in--her mind in such a sudden heat of
active operation that she had not leisure to speak. It was not the first
time that the idea had presented itself to her. She had thought of it as
a very desirable thing that Mr. Markham (or one of the others) should
fall in love with her. But up to this moment she had not been able to
see any likelihood of her desire realising itself. However, her mind
leaped into instant action, supporting with a whole array of proof the
suggestion so suddenly placed before her, of the truth of which she did
not entertain a moment’s doubt. How could she doubt it? If he had told
his mother, certainly it must be true; and the other facts adapted
themselves as by magic to this great central fact. As soon as she had
got possession of that as a foundation, the details seemed to come at a
wish, and a whole superstructure of blessedness sprang upwards towards
the skies.
“I don’t know what you wish me to say, father,” she answered, at last,
after another peremptory call. She spoke with all the modesty of
conviction, for she felt now that every word was true. “There are things
as a girl cannot speak about. There are a deal of things as are nothing
in themselves; but still a girl knows what they mean.”
These modest words gave an indescribable pang to both her hearers. As
for Spears, it was all he could do not to cry out with anger and pain.
To think that at this great crisis, at a moment when so much depended
upon it, she should speak with such disregard of grammar,
notwithstanding all the care he had taken of her education.
“There are things as a girl cannot speak about.”
He knew that this would catch Lady Markham’s ears, and he felt himself
humbled before her--not because of the fact, which there was no harm in,
which was indeed natural enough; but that his girl should tell it in
such grammar occupied Spears to the exclusion of deeper sentiment. He
turned to his visitor with a conciliatory tone, and a look of
deprecation as if asking her pardon.
“Well!” he said, “my lady! there does not seem to be much doubt on that
point. We will have to make up our minds to it, though it is not what I
could have wished, any more than you.”
The very light seemed darkened in Lady Markham’s eyes, the room went
round with her, and she saw nothing clearly. Oh, why had she come here
to make sure! Why had she not let it alone, all vague as it was! An hour
ago she had thought anything better than uncertainty--but now
uncertainty itself would have been a boon. She looked at Spears,
catching the tone of deprecation in his voice, which seemed so natural,
and made a sudden appeal to him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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