He that will not when he may; vol. IOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
He that will not when he may; vol. I
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
“What is the good of discussing--of talking over? All the harm is done
that can be done,” he said, with a wave of his hand. Then he crossed the
road quite suddenly, leaving his mother standing looking after him. Very
miserable was the young man as he went away. He went down Spears’
street, but he had no intention of going to see Spears. Everything
seemed, against him. The best thing for him to do, he thought, would be
to get out of sight of everybody--to fly from the evils of fate that
were gathering round his feet. What had he done to be caught like this
in a tangle which he had not himself sought, from which indeed he had
always done his best to keep free? It was no doing of his: chance and
his parents had done it, and the detestable conventionalities of
society, which made it impossible for a man to be civil to a girl out of
his own class without laying himself open to remark. If he had not met
her here, yesterday, so innocently, without premeditation! Already, by
the folly of everybody concerned, this girl had got to be _her_ to the
young man; no name needed to distinguish the creature in whose hands
some blind hazard seemed to have placed his life. Blind hazard--aided by
his father and mother. How bitter were his thoughts as he went on. What
was he to do? She had owned to it. Half he hated her for being so
foolishly deceived, half his heart melted to her for the deception which
only some latent tenderness could have produced. Must he wring the
girl’s heart by making it all plain to her, and humble her in her own
eyes? or must he accept a position he had not sought, which he no more
desired than they desired it, and of which he saw all the
inappropriateness, all the disadvantages? As he went on with that cruel
question in his mind, there rose out of the morning air, appearing not
much less suddenly than his mother had done, running towards him, the
figure of the girl of whom he was thinking. To Paul it was as if his
thoughts had taken shape. She came towards him, not seeing him, with all
the ease of motion which unconsciousness gives--tall and graceful in her
plain black gown. The girl’s head was full of a subdued triumph, but for
the moment all she was consciously thinking of was how to get to her
shop as quickly as possible. She ran like another Atalanta, skimming
along the unlovely street, her feet scarcely seeming to touch the
ground. This sudden apparition filled Paul with excitement. She had
changed to him altogether since yesterday, when she was nothing but
Spears’ daughter. Now she was suddenly identified, separated from all
the world, and become herself. How could he help but be interested in
her? She had owned to it. To what had she owned? It seemed for the
moment almost a relief, bitterly as he resented her introduction into
his life, to turn to her, who knew none of the complications involved,
who was unaware of his fury and indignation against everybody round
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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