He that will not when he may; vol. IIOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
He that will not when he may; vol. II
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
“How are they?” said the little girl, coming very close to his side, and
looking up at him with her wet eyes.
“Oh, how can they be?” said Paul; “my mother is worn out, she cannot
feel it yet: and Alice is with her night and day.”
“Will they come?” said Dolly, with a sob in her voice.
“I fear so; it is too much for them. But I am afraid they will come,
whatever I may say.”
“Oh, don’t you think it is best? Then they will feel that they have not
left him, not for a moment, nor failed him, as long as there was
anything to do.”
“But that makes it all the worse when there is nothing to do. I fear for
my mother.”
“She has got you, Paul--and the children.”
“Yes, me; and I did not come till the last. Did you hear that,
Dolly?--that I wasted all the time when he was dying, and was only here
the last day?”
“Dear Paul,” said Dolly, giving him her hand again, “you did not mean
it. Do you think he does not know now? Oh, you may be sure he
understands!” she cried, with that confidence in the advancement of the
dead above all petty frailties which is so touching and so universal.
“I hope so,” Paul said, with quivering lips; and as he stood here, with
this soft hand clasping his, and this familiar, almost childish, voice
consoling him, Paul felt as if he had awakened out of a dream. This was
the place he belonged to, not the squalid dream to which he had given
himself. Standing under those beautiful trees, with this soft, fair
innocent creature comprehending and consoling him, there suddenly
flashed before his eyes a vision of a narrow street, the lamp-post, the
children shouting and fighting, and another creature, who did not at all
understand him, standing close by him, pressing her advice upon him,
looking up at him with eager eyes. A sudden horror seized him even while
he felt the softness of Dolly’s consoling touch and voice. It quickened
the beating of his heart and brought a faintness of terror like a film
over his eyes.
“Come and sit down,” said Dolly, alarmed. “You are so pale. Oh, Paul,
sit down, and I will run and bring you something. You have been shutting
yourself up too much; you have been making yourself ill. Oh, Paul! you
must not reproach yourself. You must remember how much there is to do.”
“Do not leave me, Dolly. I am going to speak to the rector. I am not
ill--it was only a sudden recollection that came over me. I have not
been so good a son as I ought to have been.”
“Oh, Paul! he sees now--he sees that you never meant it,” Dolly said.
“Do you think _they_ are like us, thinking only of the outside? And you
have your mother to think of now.”
“And so I will,” he said, with a softening rush of tears to his eyes.
“Come in with me, Dolly.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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