He that will not when he may; vol. IIOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
He that will not when he may; vol. II
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
Paul felt himself grow giddy where he stood. Their talk went on; they
discussed and argued, but it was only a kind of hum in his ears. He did
not care what conclusion they came to--they themselves struck him like a
revelation. Perhaps if any other four men in the world had thus been
separated from all others as the future sharers of his life, his
feelings would have been much the same. Four Dons for instance; suppose
a group out of the Common-room put in the place of these workmen, would
they have been more supportable? He asked himself this question
vaguely, wistfully. Could he have put his future in their hands with
more confidence? or was it simply that the contemplation of any such
group as representing all your society for the rest of your life was
alarming? Paul put this question to himself with a curious dizziness and
sense of weakness.
The stair, which has been several times referred to, went straight up
like a ladder from the side of the shop opposite the door, and the upper
part of it was of the most primitive description, mounting as through a
large trap-door to the floor above. As he stood listening without
hearing, seeing through a mist, Paul caught sight in the darkness of
some one standing under the shadow of this stair watching and listening.
The men at the table were closely engaged. They took no further notice
of the young man whom they could not believe in as one of themselves.
Even Spears, in the fervour of discussion, forgot Paul. He stood in all
the freedom of a bystander, thinking his own thoughts, while his eyes
rested upon the group, taking in the whole picture before him vaguely,
as a picture; and it was at this moment that he became aware, not only
of this vague and shadowy figure, but of a head put out round the
corner of the stair, with a dart and tremble of curiosity. It was the
fair head of Janet Spears, with all its frizz of loose locks. At first
it was but a dart, rapid and frightened; then, as she perceived the
absorption of the others, and saw that she had caught Paul’s attention,
she took courage. She gave a glance at them as Paul was doing, but with
a hundred times more conscious scorn, and then put all the contempt and
ridicule of which eyes were capable into the look with which she turned
to Paul, shrugging her shoulders at the group. Her next proceeding was
to point to the door, and invite him, as plainly as signs could do it,
to meet her there. Paul grew red as he received these signs, with wonder
and alarm, and a curious kind of shamefacedness. Was it the strangest
unpardonable liberty the girl was taking? or had she a right to do it?
With a rapid gesture she gave him to understand that he must come out,
and that he would find her at the door.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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