He that will not when he may; vol. IIOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
He that will not when he may; vol. II
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
Janet had never been presuming; she had not been a coquette; she had
done nothing to call to herself the attention of the young theorists who
frequented her father’s shop. But everything was different now, and she
felt herself not only at liberty to make signals to Paul, but conferring
a favour on him by so doing. He was sick of the consultation in which he
did not care to take any part, and weary at heart of all the strange
circumstances around him. And the paraffin was very disagreeable. Why
should he not obey Janet’s signs, and go and meet her outside? At least
it could not be any worse than this. After a few moments of struggle
with himself. Paul announced quietly that he was going. “My presence can
make no difference,” he said. They scarcely heard him, so busy were they
with their argument. No Rembrandt could have surpassed the curious group
of heads set in the surrounding darkness, with the light of the lamp so
fully upon them, and all so intent and full of living interest. Spears
turned round and gave him a good-humoured nod as he went away. He was
half-vexed to be deserted; yet he smiled--was it not natural? Outside,
though it was a little bye-street, and not immaculate, the air was
sweeter than in that atmosphere of paraffin; but it was with a curious
sense of humiliation and surprise at his own position, that Paul saw
Janet’s dark, slim figure stealing out at another door. That he should
meet a girl under the light of a street-lamp, jostled by passers-by,
remarked upon as Janet Spears’s lover, seemed something incredible. Yet
he was doing it; he scarcely could tell why. She came stealing close up
to him, with just the attitude and gesture he had seen in other humble
pairs of love-makers, and Paul could not help wondering, with a sharp
sting of self-scorn, whether he was as like the ordinary hero of such
encounters as she was like the heroine. Janet came up to him however
with all the fervour of a purpose. She put out her hand, and gave a
touch to his arm.
“Did you hear what I said?--did you think of what I was saying?” she
asked. “Father came just when he wasn’t wanted. Perhaps you’ll think me
a bold girl to call you out here; but it’s for your good. Oh, Mr. Paul,
don’t listen to all that nonsense! What should _you_ go away for? You’re
a deal better off here than you ever would be there. Father may have
some excuse. He thinks, I suppose, as he’s getting old, and as it would
be better for me and the girls to be out there. I don’t think so. I’d
rather be anything at home. I’d rather take a situation. Still, father
has an excuse. But you--what do you want among men like them?--you that
are a gentleman. You never could put up with them. And why should you
go?--think a moment--why should you go?”
“It is very good of you to interest yourself about me,” said Paul,
feeling himself so much stiffer and more solemn than he had ever been
before, “but I have chosen with my eyes open. I have done what I thought
best.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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