He that will not when he may; vol. IIOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
He that will not when he may; vol. II
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
“Oh, Mr. Fairfax!” cried Alice, somewhat pale and troubled; “how can I
advise you? Mamma is not a fanatic about family. She does not build upon
it to that extent. I do not see why she should ever ask you. It is no
business of ours.” Alice was not strong enough to have such a
tremendous question thrown upon her to decide. As a matter of fact, she
knew that her mother would very soon make those inquiries about the
Westchester family and the Norfolk Fairfaxes. Already Lady Markham had
indulged in speculations on the subject, and had begun to remember that
in the one case she “used to know” a cousin of his, and in the other had
met his uncle, the ambassador, and saw a great deal of him once in
Paris. She grew quite pale, and her eyes puckered up and took the most
anxious aspect. Besides, it was a shock to herself. That absence of a
grandfather was a want which was almost indecent. She did not understand
it, and she was extremely sorry for him. He had no home then--no house
that his people had lived in for ages--no people. Poor boy!
And Fairfax’s countenance also fell, in reflection of hers. However deep
may be one’s private consciousness of one’s own deficiencies, there is
always a little expectation in one’s mind that other people will make
light of them; but when you see your own dismay, and more than your own
dismay, in the eyes of your counsellor, then is the moment when you sink
into the abyss. His lip quivered for a moment, and though it eventually
succeeded in forming into a smile, the smile was very tremulous and
uncertain.
“I see,” he said; “no need for another word. Good-bye. I have had a
glimpse into--the garden of Eden, though I must not stay.”
“Mr. Fairfax!” cried Alice, as he turned away. “Come back--come back
this moment! How dare you take me up so? Do you want to get me into
trouble,” she cried, half crying, half laughing, “with mamma? Would you
like to have her--beat me?”
“She does so sometimes?”
“To be sure,” cried Alice, with an unsteady laugh. “Oh, Mr. Fairfax,
what a fright you have given me! You have made my heart beat!”
“Not so much as mine,” he said. They had their laugh, and then they
stood once more looking at each other. “It is all very well,” said the
young man; “you want to spare my feelings; you would not hurt any one.
But beyond that, you know as well as I do that Lady Markham, knowing who
I am, would not like to have me here.”
“Who are you?” said Alice, with a little renewed alarm; and in her mind
she tried to remember whether there had been any trials in the papers,
any criminals who bore this name.
“I am nobody at all,” said Fairfax. “I haven’t even the distinction of
being improper, or belonging to people who have made themselves notable
either for evil or good. I am nobody. That is precisely what I want Lady
Markham to understand.”
“I think, Mr. Fairfax,” said Alice, “you had better go and send for your
things, as mamma said.”
“You think I may?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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