He that will not when he may; vol. IIOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
He that will not when he may; vol. II
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
Her pretty eyes were swimming in tears. It gave her a little pang to
think that perhaps this visitor, though he had been so kind, had been
staying out of mere civility, and thinking it hard. It was not out of
any other feeling in her mind that she was aware of; but to think that
Fairfax had been longing to get away perhaps, feeling the tedium of his
stay, gave her a sharp little shock of pain.
“Do not speak so--pray do not speak so,” said Fairfax, distressed. “That
is not the reason. But I think I will go to the village. There I can be
at hand whatever is wanted. You will know that I am ready by night or
day--but I have no right to be here.”
Alice looked at him, scarcely seeing him through the great tears with
which her eyes were brimming over. She put out her hand with a
tremulous gesture of appeal.
“Then you think,” she said, in a voice which was scarcely louder than a
whisper, “you think--it is very near?”
Fairfax felt that he could not explain himself. In the very presence of
death could any one pause to think that Paul might find a visitor
intrusive, or that the visitor himself might be conscious of a false
position?
“No,” he said, “no: how can I tell? I have not seen him. I could not be
a judge. It is on Paul’s account; but I shall be at the village--always
at hand whatever you may want.”
This reassured her a little, and the glimmer of a feeble smile came on
her face. She gave him her trembling hand for a moment. He had been very
“kind.” It was not a word that expressed his devotion, but Alice did not
know what other to use: very--very kind.
“The house will seem more empty still if you go. It looks so lonely,”
said Alice; “like what it used to be when they were away in town and we
left behind. Oh, if that were all! Paul ought to have been here all the
time, and you have taken his place. It is unjust that you should go when
he comes.”
“I shall not go,” said Fairfax softly. He had held her hand in his for a
moment--only for a moment. Alice, in her grief, was soothed by his
sympathy; but Fairfax, on the other hand, was very well aware that he
must take no advantage of that sympathy. He would have liked to kiss the
trembling hand in an effusion of tender pity, and if it had been Lady
Markham he might have done so; but it was Alice, and he dared not. He
held himself aloof by main strength, keeping himself from even a word
more. There was almost a little chill in it to the girl, whose heart was
full of trouble and pain, and whose tearful eyes appealed unconsciously
to that “kindness” in which she had such confidence. To be deserted by
any one at such a moment would have seemed hard to her. The house was
oppressed by the slow rolling-up of this cloud, which was about to
overcloud all their life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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