Satire, English; Upper class -- England -- Fiction
The sexton turned pale. The period Mr Escot named was so nearly the
true one, that he began to suspect the personage before him of being
rather too familiar with Hugh Llwyd's sable visitor. Recovering
himself a little, he said, "Why, thereapouts, sure enough."
"During this period, you have of course dug up many bones of the
people of ancient times."
"Pones! Cot pless you, yes! pones as old as the 'orlt."
"Perhaps you can show me a few."
The sexton grinned horribly a ghastly smile. "Will you take your Pible
oath you ton't want them to raise the tevil with?"
"Willingly," said Mr Escot, smiling; "I have an abstruse reason for
the inquiry."
"Why, if you have an _obtuse_ reason," said the sexton, who thought
this a good opportunity to show that he could pronounce hard words as
well as other people; "if you have an _obtuse_ reason, that alters the
case."
So saying he led the way to the bone-house, from which he began to
throw out various bones and skulls of more than common dimensions, and
amongst them a skull of very extraordinary magnitude, which he swore
by St David was the skull of Cadwallader.
"How do you know this to be his skull?" said Mr Escot.
"He was the piggest man that ever lived, and he was puried here; and
this is the piggest skull I ever found: you see now----"
"Nothing can be more logical," said Mr Escot. "My good friend will you
allow me to take this skull away with me?"
"St Winifred pless us!" exclaimed the sexton, "would you have me
haunted py his chost for taking his plessed pones out of consecrated
cround? Would you have him come in the tead of the night, and fly away
with the roof of my house? Would you have all the crop of my carden
come to nothing? for, look you, his epitaph says,
"He that my pones shall ill pestow,
Leek in his cround shall never crow."
"You will ill bestow them," said Mr Escot, "in confounding them with
those of the sons of little men, the degenerate dwarfs of later
generations; you will well bestow them in giving them to me: for I
will have this illustrious skull bound with a silver rim, and filled
with mantling wine, with this inscription, NUNC TANDEM: signifying
that that pernicious liquor has at length found its proper receptacle;
for, when the wine is in, the brain is out."
Saying these words, he put a dollar into the hands of the sexton, who
instantly stood spellbound by the talismanic influence of the coin,
while Mr Escot walked off in triumph with the skull of Cadwallader.
CHAPTER X
The Skull
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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