Satire, English; Upper class -- England -- Fiction
Next arrived a post-chaise from the inn at Capel Cerig, containing the
Reverend Doctor Gaster. It appeared, that, when the mail-coach
deposited its valuable cargo, early on the second morning, at the inn
at Capel Cerig, there was only one post-chaise to be had; it was
therefore determined that the reverend Doctor and the luggage should
proceed in the chaise, and that the three philosophers should walk.
When the reverend gentleman first seated himself in the chaise, the
windows were down all round; but he allowed it to drive off under the
idea that he could easily pull them up. This task, however, he had
considerable difficulty in accomplishing, and when he had succeeded,
it availed him little; for the frames and glasses had long since
discontinued their ancient familiarity. He had, however, no
alternative but to proceed, and to comfort himself, as he went, with
some choice quotations from the book of Job. The road led along the
edges of tremendous chasms, with torrents dashing in the bottom; so
that, if his teeth had not chattered with cold, they would have done
so with fear. The Squire shook him heartily by the hand, and
congratulated him on his safe arrival at Headlong Hall. The Doctor
returned the squeeze, and assured him that the congratulation was by
no means misapplied.
Next came the three philosophers, highly delighted with their walk,
and full of rapturous exclamations on the sublime beauties of the
scenery.
The Doctor shrugged up his shoulders, and confessed he preferred the
scenery of Putney and Kew, where a man could go comfortably to sleep
in his chaise, without being in momentary terror of being hurled
headlong down a precipice.
Mr Milestone observed, that there were great capabilities in the
scenery, but it wanted shaving and polishing. If he could but have it
under his care for a single twelvemonth, he assured them no one would
be able to know it again.
Mr Jenkison thought the scenery was just what it ought to be, and
required no alteration.
Mr Foster thought it could be improved, but doubted if that effect
would be produced by the system of Mr Milestone.
Mr Escot did not think that any human being could improve it, but had
no doubt of its having changed very considerably for the worse, since
the days when the now barren rocks were covered with the immense
forest of Snowdon, which must have contained a very fine race of wild
men, not less than ten feet high.
The next arrival was that of Mr Cranium, and his lovely daughter Miss
Cephalis Cranium, who flew to the arms of her dear friend Caprioletta,
with all that warmth of friendship which young ladies usually assume
towards each other in the presence of young gentlemen.[3.2]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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