American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, American; West (U.S.) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
At 10:30 o’clock old man Ballinger came out of his house in his
stocking feet and leaned over the gate, smoking his pipe. He looked
down the big road, white in the moonshine, and rubbed one ankle with
the toe of his other foot. It was time for the Fredericksburg mail to
come pattering up the road.
Old man Ballinger had waited only a few minutes when he heard the
lively hoofbeats of Fritz’s team of little black mules, and very soon
afterward his covered spring wagon stood in front of the gate. Fritz’s
big spectacles flashed in the moonlight and his tremendous voice
shouted a greeting to the postmaster of Ballinger’s. The mail-carrier
jumped out and took the bridles from the mules, for he always fed them
oats at Ballinger’s.
While the mules were eating from their feed bags old man Ballinger
brought out the mail sack and threw it into the wagon.
Fritz Bergmann was a man of three sentiments—or to be more accurate—
four, the pair of mules deserving to be reckoned individually. Those
mules were the chief interest and joy of his existence. Next came the
Emperor of Germany and Lena Hildesmuller.
“Tell me,” said Fritz, when he was ready to start, “contains the sack a
letter to Frau Hildesmuller from the little Lena at the quarries? One
came in the last mail to say that she is a little sick, already. Her
mamma is very anxious to hear again.”
“Yes,” said old man Ballinger, “thar’s a letter for Mrs. Helterskelter,
or some sich name. Tommy Ryan brung it over when he come. Her little
gal workin’ over thar, you say?”
“In the hotel,” shouted Fritz, as he gathered up the lines; “eleven
years old and not bigger as a frankfurter. The close-fist of a Peter
Hildesmuller!—some day I shall with a big club pound that man’s
dummkopf—all in and out the town. Perhaps in this letter Lena will say
that she is yet feeling better. So, her mamma will be glad. _Auf
wiedersehen_, Herr Ballinger—your feets will take cold out in the night
air.”
“So long, Fritzy,” said old man Ballinger. “You got a nice cool night
for your drive.”
Up the road went the little black mules at their steady trot, while
Fritz thundered at them occasional words of endearment and cheer.
These fancies occupied the mind of the mail-carrier until he reached
the big post oak forest, eight miles from Ballinger’s. Here his
ruminations were scattered by the sudden flash and report of pistols
and a whooping as if from a whole tribe of Indians. A band of galloping
centaurs closed in around the mail wagon. One of them leaned over the
front wheel, covered the driver with his revolver, and ordered him to
stop. Others caught at the bridles of Donder and Blitzen.
“Donnerwetter!” shouted Fritz, with all his tremendous voice—“wass ist?
Release your hands from dose mules. Ve vas der United States mail!”
“Hurry up, Dutch!” drawled a melancholy voice. “Don’t you know when
you’re in a stick-up? Reverse your mules and climb out of the cart.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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