‘Willna ye gang wi’ me, Steenie, as far as the door?’ rejoined Kirsty,
almost beseechingly, and attempting no answer to what he had last said.
It was at times such as this that Kirsty knew sadness. When she had to
leave her brother on the hillside all the long night, to look on no
human face, hear no human word, but wander in strangest worlds of his
own throughout the slow dark hours, the sense of a separation worse
than death would wrap her as in a shroud. In his bodily presence,
however far away in thought or sleep or dreams his soul might be, she
could yet tend him with her love; but when he was out of her sight, and
she had to sleep and forget him, where was Steenie, and how was he
faring? Then he seemed to her as one forsaken, left alone with his
sorrows to an existence companionless and dreary. But in truth Steenie
was by no means to be pitied. However much his life was apart from the
lives of other men, he did not therefore live alone. Was he not still
of more value than many sparrows? And Kirsty’s love for him had in it
no shadow of despair. Her pain at such times was but the indescribable
love-lack of mothers when their sons are far away, and they do not know
what they are doing, what they are thinking; or when their daughters
seem to have departed from them or ever the silver cord be loosed, or
the golden bowl broken. And yet how few, when the air of this world is
clearest, ever come into essential contact with those they love best!
But the triumph of Love, while most it seems to delay, is yet
ceaselessly rushing hitherward on the wings of the morning.
‘Willna ye gang as far as the door wi’ me, Steenie?’ she said.
‘I wull do that, Kirsty. But ye’re no feart, are ye?’
‘Na, no a grain! What would I be feart for?’
‘Ow, naething! At this time there’s naething oot and aboot to be feart
at. In what ye ca’ the daytime, I’m a kin’ o’ in danger o’ knockin
mysel again things; I never du that at nicht.’
As he spoke he sprang to his feet, and they walked on. Kirsty’s heart
seemed to swell with pain; for Steenie was at once more rational and
more strange than usual, and she felt the farther away from him. His
words were very quiet, but his eyes looked full of stars.
‘I canna tell what it is aboot the sun ’at maks a dog o’ me!’ he said.
‘He’s hard-like, and hauds me oot, and gars me hing my heid, and feel
as gien I wur a kin’ o’ ashamed, though I ken o’ naething. But the
bonny nicht comes straucht up to me, and into me, and gangs a’ throuw
me, and bides i’ me; and syne I luik for the bonny man!’
‘I wuss ye wud lat me bide oot the nicht wi’ ye, Steenie!’
‘What for that, Kirsty? Ye maun sleep, and I’m better my lane.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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