Helbeck of Bannisdale — Volume IIWard, Humphry, Mrs.
General
Helbeck of Bannisdale — Volume II
Ward, Humphry, Mrs.
Religious fiction
Her heart opens to her own reading--like some great flower that bursts
its sheath. But such pain--oh, such pain! She presses her little fingers
on her breast, trying to drive back this humiliating truth that is
escaping her, tearing its way to the light.
How is it that contempt and war can change like this? She seems to have
been fighting against something that all the time had majesty, had
charm--that bore within itself the forces that tame a woman. In all ages
the woman falls before the ascetic--before the man who can do without
her. The intellect may rebel; but beneath its revolt the heart yields.
Oh! to be guided, loved, crushed if need be, by the mystic, whose first
thought can never be for you--who puts his own soul, and a hundred
torturing claims upon it, before your lips, your eyes! Strange passion of
it!--it rushes through the girl's nature in one blending storm of longing
and despair....
... What sound was that?
She raised her head. A call came from the sands--a distant call, floating
through the night. Another--and another! She stood up--she sprang on the
heap of planks, straining her eyes. Yes--surely she saw a figure on that
wide expanse of sand, moving quickly, moving away? And one after another
the cries rose, waking dim echoes from the shore.
It was Hubert, no doubt--Hubert in pursuit, and calling to her, lest she
should come unawares upon the danger spots that marked the sands.
She stood and watched the moving speck till it was lost in a band of
shadow. Then she saw it no more, and the cries ceased.
Would he be at Bannisdale before she was? She dashed away her tears, and
smiled. Ah! Let him seek her there!--let him herald her. Light broke upon
her; she began to rise from her misery.
But she must sleep a little, or she would never have the strength to
begin her walk with the dawn. For walk she would, instead of waiting for
tardy trains. She saw herself climbing the fell--she would never trust
herself to the road, the open road, where cousins might be hiding after
all--finding her way through back lanes into sleeping villages, waking
someone, getting a carriage to a point above the park, then slipping down
to the door in the garden and so entering by the chapel, when entrance
was possible. She would go straight to Augustina. Poor Augustina! there
would be little sleep for her to-night. The tears rose again in the
girl's eyes.
She drew her thin shawl round her, and crept again into the shadow of the
engine-house. Not three hours, and the day would have returned. But
already the dawn-breath seemed to be blowing through the night. For it
had grown cold and her limbs shivered.
... She woke often in terror, pursued by sheets of flame, or falling
through unfathomed space; haunted all through by a sense of doom, an
awful expectancy--like one approaching some grisly Atreus-threshold and
conscious of the death behind it. But sleep seized her again, a cold
tormented sleep, and the hours passed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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