Yet, presumptuous or not, Hampstead’s reasonings had led him quickly to
the one outstanding fact: His knowledge of who did steal the diamonds
could never be used in his defense. His vindication must depend solely
on the inability of Miss Dounay to prove her case. This in itself put
him in a negative and an unnatural position, an all but helpless
position. His nature was aggressive. He was a fighter, not a
"stander." Instead of vindication, he could never get more than a
Scotch verdict of "not proven." He would have to face the community
with that. Well, thank God, he was strong enough for that; strong
enough to simply stand and endure! Yes, testing his moral fiber by the
best judgment he could form of what the strain would be like, he felt
equal to the load. In the consciousness of this strength, his shoulders
stiffened with pride and a sort of eagerness to take up their burden. A
sense of triumph even came to him. This self-deluding woman should see
how strong he was, and how unshakable was the faith of the community in
the integrity of his character.
But when the minister, rather calmed by having hardened himself thus
against what appeared to be coming upon him, lifted his eyes suddenly
from the deck, he was disconcerted to observe a group of people eyeing
him curiously at a distance of some dozen or twenty feet. These were
people whom he did not recognize, but some one of them evidently knew
him and had pointed him out to the rest. He reflected that they must
have been watching him for some time. No doubt they had observed his
demeanor as he read the paper, and afterwards when he tossed it away in
anger. He must have made quite an exhibition of himself, and it gave
him a creepy sensation to catch these curious, unfeeling eyes upon him
as if they viewed the struggles of a fly in a spider’s web. It made him
feel that he was entangled, and he began to realize what a diversion his
entanglement would afford this whole metropolitan community, and that
to-night, through the headlines in the papers, everybody was watching
him just as these people were. He reflected, too, that there is a
fascination about watching the fall of a tall tree, of a tall flagpole,
or of a tall human being. At the moment Hampstead did not feel so very
tall; yet he knew that deservedly or undeservedly, he was upon a
position of eminence, and his fall would afford an interesting
spectacle.
However, he did not intend to fall. Rising vigorously from his seat,
the minister confronted with a smile the group who had been gazing at
him. "Good evening, gentlemen," he said pleasantly, and walked toward
the front of the boat.
"Some nerve, what!" was a comment that broke out of the group as he
passed it. Whether the words were meant for his ears or not, they
reached them and caused another smile.
"I’ll show them nerve!" he mused, with foolish but very human pride.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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