Before replying, the actress raised both hands and lifted her veil. The
disclosure was something of a revelation. The features were those of
Marien Dounay, but they were changed. There had been always something
royal in Marien’s glances, but the royal air was gone now: something
dominant in her personality, but the dominance had departed. The
suggestion, too, of smouldering fire in her eyes was absent; instead
there appeared a liquescent, quivering light, in which suffering and the
comprehension that comes with suffering combined to suggest helpless
appeal rather than the old, imperial air.
This softening of expression had extended to her mouth as well. The
lips, as red, as full of invitation as ever, were more pliant; they
trembled and formed themselves into tiny undulating curves which
suggested and then reinforced the imploring light of the eyes. Her
beauty was more appealing because it was no longer commanding, but
entreating.
"Why did you do it?" the minister repeated, when his eyes had completed
his appraisal, and the woman was still eloquently silent.
"Because I loved you," she answered briefly.
Her declaration was accompanied by an attempt at a smile that was so
brave and yet so faltering that it was rather pitiful. But Hampstead,
looking at the beautiful shell of this woman who had so vindictively
hurled him down, was not in a mood to feel pity. Instead he was merely
incredulous.
"Love?" he asked cynically, rising from his seat.
"Yes," exclaimed the woman with convulsive eagerness, as if her voice
choked over speaking what her lips, by the traditional modesty of her
sex and the mountain of her pride and self-will, had been too long
forbidden to utter. "Yes, I have always loved you!"
With this much of a beginning, excitedly and with the air of one whose
course was predetermined, the actress plucked off her hat, stabbed the
pin into it, and tossed it upon the window seat; then nervously stripped
the gloves from her hands; all the while hurrying on with a sort of
defensive vehemence to aver:
"I have loved you from the first moment when you held me in your arms
long enough for me to feel the electric warmth of your personality. You
roused, kindled, and enflamed me! The sensation was delicious; but I
resented it. It offended my pride. I had never been overmastered. You
overmastered me without knowing it. I hated you for it. You were so—so
unsophisticated; so good, so simple, so ready to worship, to admire, to
ascribe the beauties of my body to the beauties of my soul. I hated you
for that, for my soul was less beautiful than my body, and I knew it. I
resisted you and yielded to you; I hated you and loved you; I spurned
you and wanted you.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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