HENRY GOES PREHISTORIC
By W. C. Tuttle
The Sheriff of Tonto City Could Expect Anything to Come
Out of the Night in Wild Horse Valley--Even an Idea
“Judge” Van Treece was mad; so mad that he deliberately threw his
beloved, and badly dog-eared copy of Shakespeare, across the office,
where it fluttered to the floor, like a wounded duck. He didn’t even
look at the poor thing, as he sat, tilted back in an old chair, his high
heels hooked around a rung of his chair, which brought his bony,
overall-clad knees, almost up to his chin. Judge had the features of a
tragedian, and just now he glared his hate at nobody in particular.
Henry Harrison Conroy, the sheriff of Tonto City, got up from his
creaking desk chair, retrieved the dog-eared copy and placed it on his
desk. While Judge was inches over six feet in height, and as skinny as a
sand-hill crane, Henry Harrison Conroy was barely five feet, seven
inches in his high-heel boots. However, Henry was fashioned after the
specifications of the well-known Humpty Dumpty. Henry had very little
hair, a face like a full moon, small eyes and the biggest nose that ever
gleamed above the footlights in vaudeville. That nose had been known
from one end of most vaudeville chains to the other, featured, in fact.
He looked quizzically at Judge, as he sat down.
“After all, Judge,” he said, “you can not blame William Shakespeare.”
“I have,” declared Judge hollowly, looking straight ahead, “a notion of
resigning. I still have my pride, sir. My body may belong to Wild Horse
Valley, but my soul is still my own.”
“Ah, yes--pride and soul; resignation--no!” mumbled Henry. “No, that is
not the solution, Judge. There must be some other way to handle the
situation. We’ll fight this out to the bitter end.”
“So you think there will be a bitter end, Henry?”
“Let us look calmly upon the matter at hand,” suggested Henry. “I must
admit that those Commissioners are irksome. They did decry our lack of
ability in coping with the crime wave, which seems to be washing upon
our shores. It is very unfortunate that recent gold strikes have filled
Tonto City to overflowing with some damnable riff-raff, which always
drifts in with new gold strikes, like buzzards after a dead animal. Our
once-peaceful pueblo of Tonto is filled with covetous folk, who work
not, neither do they spin. And we, you and I, Judge, are the Keepers of
the Peace--such as it is.”
“Keepers of the Peace,” repeated Judge. “I like that, sir. But that is
not what the _Clarion_ called us. Isn’t bad enough to read such
damnable, scurrilous, infamous--er--”
“Enlightening,” suggested Henry calmly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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