How repeatedly has guilt been brought upon my conscience in this
way! Oh, how will the lost souls with whom I have trifled the
hours away look at me in the day of judgment! I hope I am more
and more convinced of the wickedness and folly of assuming any
other character than that of a minister. I ought to consider
that my proper business with the flock over which the Holy Ghost
hath made me overseer is the business of another world, and if
they will not consider it in the same light, I do not think that
I am bound to visit them.
About the middle of last month, the Church service being ready
in Hindustani, I submitted to the commanding officer of the
European regiment a proposal to perform Divine service
regularly for the native women of his regiment, to which he
cordially assented. The whole number of women, about 200,
attended with great readiness, and have continued to do so.
Instead of a sermon, the Psalms, and the appointed lessons, I
read in two portions the Gospel of St. Matthew regularly
forward, and occasionally make some small attempts at
expounding. The conversion of any of such despised people is
never likely perhaps to be of any extensive use in regard to the
natives at large; but they are a people committed to me by God,
and as dear to Him as others; and next in order after the
English, they come within the expanding circle of action.
After much trouble and delay, three schools have been
established for the native children on Mr. Creighton's plan--one
at Dinapore, one at Bankipore, and one at Patna, at the last of
which the Persian character is taught as well as the Nagri. The
number of children already is about sixty. The other
schoolmasters, not liking the introduction of these free
schools, spread the report that my intention was to make them
Christians, and send them to Europe; in consequence of which the
zemindars retracted their promises of land, and the parents
refused to send their children; but my schoolmasters very
sensibly went to the people, and told them, 'We are men well
known among you, and when we are made Christians then do you
begin to fear.' So their apprehensions have subsided; but when
the book of Parables, which is just finished, is put into their
hands, I expect a revival of their fears. My hope is that I
shall be able to ingratiate myself a little with the people
before that time; but chiefly that a gracious God will not
suffer Satan to keep his ground any longer, now that the
appointed means are used to dislodge him. But, though these
plans should fail, I hope to be strengthened to fight against
him all my days. For, from what I feel within and see without, I
know enough of him to vow, with my brethren, eternal enmity
against him and his cause.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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