At Captain Rodney's, the Chief Secretary to Government, we met a
good part of the European society of Colombo. The party was like
most mixed parties in England, where much is said that need not
be remembered. The next day we stretched across the Gulf of
Manaar, and soon came in sight of Cape Comorin, the great
promontory of India. At a distance the green waves seemed to
wash the foot of the mountain, but on a nearer approach little
churches were seen, apparently on the beach, with a row of
little huts on each side. Was it these maritime situations that
recalled to my mind Perran church and town in the way to Gurlyn;
or that my thoughts wander too often on the beach to the east of
Lamorran? You do not tell me whether you ever walk there, and
imagine the billows that break at your feet to have made their
way from India. But why should I wish to know? Had I observed
silence on that day and thenceforward, I should have spared you
much trouble, and myself much pain. Yet I am far from regretting
that I spoke, since I am persuaded that all things will work
together for good. I sometimes try to put such a number of
things together as shall produce the greatest happiness
possible, and I find that even in imagination I cannot satisfy
myself. I set myself to see what is that 'good for the sons of
men, which they should do under heaven all the days of their
life,' and I find that paradise is not here. Many things are
delightful, some things are almost all one could wish; but yet
in all beauty there is deformity, in the most perfect something
wanting, and there is no hope of its ever being otherwise.
'That which is crooked cannot be made straight, and that which
is wanting cannot be numbered.' So that the expectation of
happiness on earth seems chimerical to the last degree. In my
schemes of happiness I place myself of course with you, blessed
with great success in the ministry, and seeing all India turning
to the Lord. Yet it is evident that with these joys there would
be mingled many sorrows. The care of all the churches was a
burden to the mighty mind of St. Paul. As for what we should be
together, I judge of it from our friends. Are they quite beyond
the vexations of common life? I think not--still I do not say
that it is a question whether they gained or lost by marrying.
Their affections will live when ours (I should rather say mine)
are dead. Perhaps it may not be the effect of celibacy; but I
certainly begin to feel a wonderful indifference to all but
myself. From so seldom seeing a creature that cares for me, and
never one that depends at all upon me, I begin to look round
upon men with reciprocal apathy. It sometimes calls itself
deadness to the world, but I much fear that it is deadness of
heart. I am exempt from worldly cares myself, and therefore do
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