From one pair of eyes at least, his talents, which had at last wrested
recognition from a jealous, narrow, conventional world, had not been
able to hide the dangers with which they were girt. This aged judge had
pierced the secret. Those senile old eyes, alone of those in the court,
had seen the pitfalls which lay beneath his triumph.
He ought to have been overwhelmingly happy in this new perambulation of
the darkness. Yet the sense of humiliation was paramount. That strength
upon which all his life his extravagant hopes had been nourished had
proved to be even greater than he had known, but the under side of his
nature, to which he had given rein in order to grasp success, opened up
possibilities that were strange and awful. Truth and justice had had no
meaning for the terrible genie he had called to his aid. They had been
used as so many cards in a game. The judge was right: so grievous a
prostitution of a noble talent was a grave public danger. On the first
occasion it had been employed it had compassed a notable miscarriage of
justice.
Towards ten o’clock his wanderings carried him into Leicester Square.
He stayed his steps under the ghastly lights of a music hall and made
the discovery that he was faint with hunger and fatigue. With a dismal
sense of foreboding, which habit had rendered involuntary, he thrust
his hands in those pockets which on many occasions had had nothing
to yield. To his joy his search was rewarded with a sovereign and a
halfpenny. As he held the coins in his fingers a strange weary feeling
of gratitude stole over him. His days of bodily privation were at an
end. Not again would he know what it was to need food and yet lack
the wherewithal of obtaining it. After all he must not dare to deride
success. Its attributes were substantial, definite, necessary.
As he crossed the square in search of a restaurant of whose merits
he was aware, the large letters of the news-bill of an evening
journal caught his eye. Murder Trial--Sensational Speech for the
Defence--Scenes in Court--Verdict.
“Here, boy, a paper,” he said, holding out the halfpenny.
He clutched the paper greedily and crumpled it in his fist. It almost
seemed as he did so that fame itself was tangible, that it was
something that he could crumple in his hand.
In the eating-house he passed a glorious hour in which he devoured
beefsteak and potatoes and consumed a tankard of ale. He read the
account of the trial over and over again, although as rendered by the
evening journal it had no meaning for him. Even the bald _résumé_ of
bare facts seemed far otherwise than those as rendered to himself.
He could not recognize one of the incidents. Hardly a word was
intelligible to the chief actor in that crowded and pregnant drama.
“Mr. Norcutt for the defence spoke for two hours fifty-eight minutes.
His speech was full of Biblical quotations, and even the judge was
affected by it.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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