In a pitiable state of terror he fell on his knees again. There was a
sort of morbid reflex action within him that seemed to draw him back to
the body, to force him to pass his hands across the corpse. It was now
cold. A stinging fury made him writhe. Was it for this foul, uncanny
monster that he must forfeit one of the most precious jewels that had
ever been devised by nature? He was a young man; life was before him;
there was the magic talisman in his spirit that could bend the whole
world to his purposes. He gnashed his teeth with impotent fury, and
rose biting at his nails.
“This is a dreadful tragedy,” he muttered. “This is a dreadful tragedy.
Think of such a one as myself being lost to mankind.”
His own grotesque words caused him to laugh. That surprising genie,
that had been destined to conquer a stupidly material world, enabled
him to present himself to himself in his amazing predicament. He could
hardly preserve his gravity before a spectacle so astonishing.
“The genie is deriding me,” he said.
That mute and distorted face that was looking up at him with an insane
leer had no message of its own. It was only significant to the advocate
as the price of all that he was about to give up. Yet suddenly he
remembered this strange creature he had broken with his hands as he
had first encountered her in the prison. In no animate thing could the
desire for life have been more intensely strong. Overmastering as was
his own desire at this moment, hers, at that time, had been no less so.
She must have life; she must see the sun and the clouds and the trees.
The common earth had acquired fresh symbols for that debauched vision.
And how nearly she had come to possess this strange new thing that she
craved. One heaven-born man had all but given it to her. He had so
nearly done so, that for one brief instant she had been able to taste
it with those blood-stained lips. And when she had discovered that
strong and shining as this one man was, his was not the divine valiance
of those early mystics who roamed the hills in the childhood of the
world, that he had not the simplicity to provide her with that which
she craved, she insisted on receiving death at his hands in lieu of the
life he could not give her.
It was then, that he took a little compassion. It was a loathsome and
terrible destiny to which this human being had been called. By what
subtle twist or abrogation of her noble faculties had she come to
live her days on such lines as these. This avowed and ruthless enemy
of society had been of no common or spurious clay. It was not a small
nature that had taken a revenge so bitter. A little more and it had
been how much? Another grain of courage, another ounce of power, and
she, too, poor maimed and twisted thing of beauty, would have been
numbered among the valiant.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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