Bildungsromans; Germany -- Fiction; Poets, German -- Fiction
"What swells now so forebodingly beneath the heart, and swallows up the
soft air of sadness? Hast thou also a pleasure in us, sombre Night?
What bringest thou beneath thy mantle, that with viewless power winds
its way to my soul? A costly balsam is dripping from thy hand, from thy
bunch of poppy. The drooping pinions of the mind thou bearest upward.
Dimly and ineffably we feel ourselves moved; a solemn countenance do I
see, in pleasing terror, that gently and full of devotion bendeth
towards me, and showeth dear youth hid in the infinite locks of the
mother. How poor and childish Light now appears to me! How welcome and
blessed the farewell of day! Only for this, because Night alienates
from thee thy servants, didst thou sow in the regions of space the
luminous balls, to proclaim thy omnipotence, thy return, in the times
of thy absence. More heavenly than yonder twinkling stars appear the
infinite eyes that Night opens in us. Their sight extends farther than
the palest of that numberless host; unbeholden to Light, they gaze
through the depths of a loving spirit, which fills a loftier space with
unspeakable rapture. Praised be the Queen of the world, the high
announcer of holy spheres, the nurse of blessed love! She sends me
thee, O dearly beloved, lovely sun of the Night. Now I awake, for I am
Thine and Mine; thou hast announced to me Night as my life, thou hast
made me a man. Consume my body with a spirit-glow, that in ether I may
mingle more closely with thee, and be thou my bridal night forever."
The Beloved was Sophia; concerning whom he writes as follows:--
"Weissenfels, March 22d, 1797.
"It is for me a mournful duty to inform you that Sophia is no more.
After unspeakable sufferings, borne with exemplary resignation, she
died on the 10th of March, at half past nine in the morning. She was
born on the 17th of March, 1783, and on the 15th of March, 1795, I
gained from her the assurance, that she would be mine. She has suffered
since the 7th of November, 1795. Eight days before her death I left her
with the strongest conviction, that I should never see her again. I
could not have endured to look impotently upon the terrible struggle of
blooming youth down-stricken, the fearful anguish of the heavenly
creature. Fate have I never feared. For three previous weeks I saw its
menaces. It has become evening about me, whilst I was yet gazing into
the morning-red. My sorrow is boundless, like my love. For three years
had she been my hourly thought. She alone has bound me to life, to my
country, and to my occupations. With her loss I am separated from
everything, for I scarcely have myself any longer. But it has become
evening, and it seems to me, as if I soon were about to depart, and so
would I gladly be tranquil, and see around me only kind, friendly
faces, and live entirely in her spirit, gentle and kindhearted, as she
was.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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