The details are painful and it isn't necessary to go into them. Suffice
it to say, she told him that he had always been her ideal and that she
had worshipped him from childhood's earliest days. He, on the other
hand, confessed, with more truth than she could have guessed, that he
had but recently come to a realisation of her true worth, and what she
really meant to him.
She set the wedding day for November the eleventh,--just seven weeks
off.
Before leaving,--she kept him until nearly twelve,--he playfully came
up behind her as she stood near the table, and, placing his hands under
her elbows, said:
"Hold 'em stiff now."
Then, to her amazement, he tried to lift her from the floor. He
couldn't budge her.
"It's all right," he exclaimed exultantly and refused to explain.
That night in his dreams an elephant came along and stood for a while
on his chest, but he was used to it by that time, and didn't mind.
The next morning, General Gamble reported by telephone that Martha
weighed one hundred and sixty-eight pounds and nine ounces. A minute
later, Eddie was at his desk calculating.
On the twenty-third of September she weighed two thousand and
twenty-five ounces troy. At nineteen dollars and twenty cents an ounce
she was then worth $38,880. With any sort of luck, he figured, she
might be expected to pick up a few pounds as the result of her
new-found happiness and peace of mind. Her worries were practically
over. Contented people always put on flesh. If everything went well,
she ought to represent at least $40,000 on her wedding day. Perhaps
more.
He haunted the Country Club by day and the town clubs by night, always
preoccupied and figuring, much to the astonishment of his friends and
cronies. He scribbled inexplicable figures on the backs of golf cards,
bar checks, and menus.
By the end of the first week he had made definite promises to all of
his creditors. He guaranteed that every one should be paid before the
middle of November. Moreover, he set aside in his calculations the sum
of $7,000 for the purchase of a new house. Early in the second week he
had virtually expended $15,000 of what he expected to receive, and was
giving thanks for increased opportunities.
He called at the Gamble house regularly, even faithfully. True, he
urged Martha to play on the piano nearly all of the time, but to all
intents and purposes it was a courtship.
When the engagement was announced, the town--in utter ignorance of the
conspiracy--went into convulsions. The half-dozen old maids in upper
circles who had long since given up hope began to prink and perk
themselves into an amazing state of rejuvenation,--revival, you might
say. They tortured themselves with the hope that never dies. They even
lent money to impecunious gentlemen who couldn't believe their senses
and went about pinching themselves.
Eddie Ten Eyck's credit was so good that he succeeded in borrowing
nearly five thousand dollars from erstwhile adamantine sceptics.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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