Dinah's sweet serenity was vaguely disturbed, and the quiet tears
gathered in her eyes. Silence was good for both of them, she thought.
When one has lived through a great pain, and by God's grace has
conquered, it is better to bury the dead past. Elizabeth's passionate
incredulity, the difficulty she felt in understanding her sister's
motives, her exaggerated praise, made Dinah wince in positive pain. How
could human love misjudge her so! Did not even her nearest and
dearest--her own sister-friend--know how often she had striven and
failed and fainted under that hard cross that had been laid upon her?
And in truth few women had suffered as Dinah had in the sweet blossom
of her early womanhood, and more than once she had been very near the
gates of the dark valley whose shadow is the shadow of death.
How she had gloried in her lover--her "Douglas--Douglas, tender and
true," as she had called him to herself--in his great intellect and his
strong man's heart, in the plan and purpose of his life, with its
scientific research and its passionate love of truth!
And then that awful struggle between her affection and her sense of
right, the doubts and terrors, the wakeful nights and joyless days, the
vast blank of life that stretched before her poor eyes, half-blind with
their woman's weeping.
"O Galilaean, Thou hast conquered," were the words that came to her
when the crucial test had been passed, and she had parted with her
beloved.
Those were sad days at the Wood House, and there were sadder days still
at Rome; but she lived through them, and Elizabeth helped her; and so
by and bye the light of a new dawn--a little gray and misty perhaps,
but still dawn--opened before Dinah's tired eyes.
"I loved much and I prayed much, and God answered my prayers," she said
long afterwards.
But the wound was wide and deep and healed slowly, and it was not until
Douglas Fraser had married a noble-hearted and beautiful woman, whom he
called his Lady of Consolation, that Dinah recovered a measure of her
former cheerfulness. But the day she heard that he was no longer an
agnostic was always kept by her as a festival. Then indeed the cup of
her pure joy seemed full to the very brim.
He had come right, and now all was well with him and with her too. Pain
and loss had been his teachers, and great indeed was her reward.
"It was your renunciation and sacrifice that first opened my eyes," he
wrote. "I know now how rightly you acted. If I had married you then--if
my entreaties had prevailed--I should never have made you happy. My
dear Agnes has taught me this." And this cherished letter was Dinah's
treasure.
She and Dr. Fraser seldom met--not more than once a year--but from time
to time he wrote to her, and his wife and children were very dear to
her.
"I cannot understand it," Elizabeth had more than once said. But Dinah
could furnish no explanation: she only knew that it was so--that her
life was a happy one, and that she asked for nothing more.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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