American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, American
“_There!_” she repeated. “Why did you ask to be thanked if you didn’t
want to be? What else does ‘greatly gratify’ mean? I couldn’t write to
you from Odessa because I hadn’t the money to buy a stamp; but I’ve
longed ever since to tell you what your book did for me. It simply
changed my whole life—books do sometimes, you know. I saw everything
differently—even our Refugee Centre! I decided at once to give up my
lover and divorce my husband. Those were my two first Eliminations.” She
smiled retrospectively. “But you mustn’t think I’m a frivolous person. I
have my degree as a Doctor of Philosophy—I took it at sixteen, at the
University of Moscow. I gave up philosophy the year after for sculpture;
the next year I gave up sculpture for mathematics and love. For a year I
loved. After that I married Prince Balalatinsky. He was my cousin, and
enormously wealthy. I need not have divorced him, as it turned out, for
he was soon afterward buried alive by the Bolsheviks. But how could I
have foreseen it? And your book had made me feel—”
“Good gracious!” the author of the book interrupted desperately. “You
don’t suppose _I_ wrote that rubbish about wanting to be thanked, do
you?”
“Didn’t you? How could I tell? Almost all the things sent from America
to the refugee camp came with little labels like that. You all seemed to
think we were sitting before perfectly appointed desks, with fountain
pens and stamp-cases from Bond Street in our pockets. I remember once
getting a lip-stick and a Bernard Shaw calendar labelled: ‘If the
refugee who receives these would write a line of thanks to little Sadie
Burt of Meropee Junction, Ga., who bought them out of her own savings by
giving up chewing-gum for a whole month, it would make a little American
girl very happy.’ Of course I was sorry not to be able to write to
little Sadie.” She broke off, and then added: “Do you know, I was sure
you were my Professor as soon as I saw your name on your suit-case?”
“Good Lord!” groaned the Professor. He had forgotten to remove the
obligatory steamer-labels! Instinctively he reached out a hand to tear
off the offending member; but again a gesture of the Princess’s arrested
him. “It’s too late now. And you can’t surely grudge me the pleasure of
thanking you for your book?”
“But I _didn’t_ ask—”
“No; but I wanted to. You see, at that time I had quite discarded
philosophy. I was living in the Actual—with a young officer of
Preobrajensky—when the war broke out. And of course in our camp at
Odessa the Actual was the very thing one wanted to get away from. And
your book took me straight back into that other world where I had known
my only pure happiness. Purity—what a wonderful thing it is! What a pity
it is so hard to keep; like money, and everything else really valuable!
But I’m thankful for any little morsel of it that I’ve had. When I was
only ten years old—”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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