He turned from her suddenly and addressed a remark to Embury which
immediately gave that clever young man a chance to entertain his
companions for ten minutes. Hermia found herself drifting from her
guests. She had undergone many evolutions of thought and feeling during
the past few weeks. At times she had believed herself in love with
Cryder; at others, she had been conscious of indifferent liking. She was
puzzled to find that his abstract image thrilled her more than his
actual presence. On the other hand, she _liked_ him better when with
him. He was so entertaining, so sympathetic; he had such delicate tact
and charm. When absent, she sometimes thought of him with a certain
distaste; he had qualities that she disliked, and he was diametrically
different from all imagined lovers. Then she would make up her mind to
close her eyes to his deficiencies and to love him spiritually. She
would compel herself to think of him for hours together on an exalted
mental and spiritual plane, where passion had no place. Not that she
believed him incapable of passion, by any means—she believed that all
men were constructed on the same plan—but he was so different from that
man who now dwelt behind a barred door in her brain that she felt it her
duty, to both, to love him in a different way. She was surprised to find
that after such æsthetic communion she almost hated him. Reaction
following excess of passion may be short-lived; but immoderate
sentimentality leaves a mental ennui that requires a long convalescence.
Sentimentality is a growth of later civilization, and trails its roots
over the surface like a pine; while passion had its seeds planted in the
garden of Eden, and is root, branch, twig, and leaf of human nature.
In summing up her sensations she had come to the conclusion that on the
whole she was in love with him. No one had ever moved her one-tenth as
much before. If she had not lost her head about him, it was because her
nature had slept too long to awake in a moment. That would come by
degrees. There were times when she felt the impulse to cast herself on
her face and sob farewell to the dreams of her youth and to the lover
who had been a being more real than Ogden Cryder; but she thrust aside
the impulse with a frown and plunged into her daily life.
At opportune moments Hermia’s attention returned to her guests. Miss
Starbruck rose at a signal from her niece and the women went into the
library. The men joined them soon after, and Cryder, much to the
gratitude of his tired and dreamy hostess, continued to entertain them
until eleven o’clock, when they went home.
* * * * *
CHAPTER XVII.
AN ILLUSION DISPELLED.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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