Herself: Talks with Women Concerning ThemselvesLowry, E. B. (Edith Belle)
Science
Herself: Talks with Women Concerning Themselves
Lowry, E. B. (Edith Belle)
Sexual ethics; Women -- Health and hygiene
It has been estimated that only about five per cent. of all marriages
are successful. Is this true, and if true, why? If five per cent. made a
success of marriage, why could not the other ninety-five? Marriage is a
science to be studied by the prospective bride and groom in order that
they may be ranked with the five per cent. and not make a failure of
their married life. Few would enter the marriage relation if convinced
that it would be a failure. The prospective bride looks around among her
acquaintances and sees the lack of true happiness, thinks that her case
will be an exception, that her marriage will turn out all right and then
goes blindly ahead into the new life without any preparation.
A large percentage of the unhappiness among married couples comes
through a misunderstanding of the marital relations. A great deal of
this is due to ignorance on the part of the bride and thoughtlessness on
the part of the husband. This is partly due to defective education
during childhood in regard to the sexes. The training of boys and girls
in this matter is very different. Knowledge pertaining to the sexual
life is talked over very freely among boys, so that by the time the boy
is of a marriageable age he is pretty well posted. With girls it is
quite different. It would be considered very immodest for a girl to
discuss such matters. She does not feel free even to talk with her
mother or other adviser, and so she goes to the altar ignorant of many
things she should know. Then during the first few days of married life
this knowledge so overwhelms her and often gives her such a severe shock
that it leaves a lasting impression. She has no way of knowing that her
husband is just like other men. She is liable to regard him as a brute
and resent his attentions.
Such a condition of affairs is altogether wrong, but the girl is not to
be blamed. Had she been taught what to expect, much of the unhappiness
of married life might have been avoided. If taught correctly, the girl
should regard the sexual act as the culmination of true love. It should
be regarded as something sacred, something that makes her and her
husband as one. Fortunate indeed is the girl whose husband realizes this
lack of knowledge and gently leads her to desire the fulfillment of
love. Unfortunate is the girl whose husband regards this act only as the
gratification of animal passions--something it is a wife's duty to
endure as such.
Passion or sex sense is a sign of maturity. It is the calling for a
mate. All animals have this sense and nearly all animals have a mating
season. The billing and cooing of the birds in the springtime is an
expression of this sense--the love sense. It is possessed by every
little insect. Only by knowing their habits do we see the expression of
it. This sense is nothing of which one should be ashamed. It was
God-given for a divine purpose.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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