Hey Rub-a-dub-dub: A Book of the Mystery and Wonder and Terror of LifeDreiser, Theodore
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Hey Rub-a-dub-dub: A Book of the Mystery and Wonder and Terror of Life
Dreiser, Theodore
American essays -- 20th century
Because my father was a Catholic and I was baptized in that faith, I was
supposed to accept all the dogma, as well as the legends, of the Church
as true. In the life about me I saw flourishing the Methodist, the
Baptist, the United Brethren, the Christian, the Congregationalist, the
what-not churches, each representing, according to its adherents, the
exact historic and truthful development and interpretation of life or
the world. As a fourteen-or fifteen-year-old boy I listened to sermons
on hell, where it was, and what was the nature of its torments. As
rewards for imaginary good behavior I have been given colored picture
cards containing exact reproductions of heaven! Every newspaper that I
have ever read, or still read, has had an exact code of morals by the
light of which one may detect at once Mr. Bad Man and Mr. Good Man and
so save oneself from the machinations of the former! The books which I
was advised to read, and for the neglect of which I was frowned upon,
were of that naïve character known as pure. One should read only good
books--which meant of course books from which any reference to sex had
been eliminated, and what followed as a natural consequence was that all
intelligent interpretation of character and human nature was immediately
discounted.
A picture of a nude or partially nude woman was sinful; a statue equally
so. The dance in our home and our town was taboo. The theater was an
institution which led to crime, the saloon a center of low, even bestial
vices. The existence of such a thing as an erring or fallen woman, let
alone a house of prostitution, was a crime, scarcely a fact to be
considered. There were forms and social appearances which we were taught
to wear, quite as one wears a suit of clothes. One had to go to church
on Sunday whether one wished to or not. It was considered good
business, if you please, to be connected with some religious
organization; and, by the same token, this commercialized religiosity
was transmuted into glistening virtue. We were taught persistently to
shun most human experiences as either dangerous or degrading or
destructive. The less you knew about life the better; the more you knew
about the fictional heaven and hell ditto. People walked about in a kind
of sanctified maze or dream, hypnotized or self-hypnotized by an erratic
and impossible theory of human conduct which had grown up heaven knows
where or how, and had finally cast its amethystine spell over all
America, if not over all the world.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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