(_At the stage entrance, surveying one hundred and fifty divisions of Descendant Sons and Daughters of Ancient and Honorable Moving Picture Censors, Sabbath Day Observance Leaguers, Baptist and Methodist Evangelists, and Non-Smokers’ Social Unionists, now ready and in marching order just outside the tent entrance. These have arranged themselves in battalions of two thousand each and are arrayed in snow-white frock coats, bright red silk hats, lavender pants or skirts, as the case may be, and carry bright brass drum-major batons. Numerous bands of Descendant and Amalgamated Sons and Daughters of Ancient and Honorable Anti-Saloon Leaguers and Billysundays are arrayed in pink-flowered business suits and silver-green capes, carrying hatchets and bearing aloft the portrait of their patron saint, Mrs. Carrie Nation, who flourished A. D. 1884-1913, playing on silver and tin horns, wind instruments, hewgags and jew’s harps. These are preceded by cage-cars containing one each of Ossified Specimens of Ancient Cigarette Fiend, Simon-pure American Bartender, Lewd Scenario Writer, Sabbath Day Breaker. The bands begin playing “All Hail the Peace Which Now Prevails!” As they enter, preceded by SHISHMASH HASH HASH with his head between his legs and walking on his hands to the Musnud, forty thousand members of the audience rise and stand on their heads. Another forty thousand sink to the floor between their seats and gasp. The five thousand Nizys pass swiftly among them administering souffle. The first and second readers read rapidly. SHISHMASH HASH HASH, landing on his feet as he reaches the Musnud and beginning to jig._) Will the High and Mighty Referendunces of the Federated Musnud of the World deign to notice these humble instruments of moral intercession here gathered from all parts of the world to testify at this great review to the blessings of peace, morality, fecundity and other social virtues? (_As he says this he executes nine flip-flaps, whereat the great assemblage bursts into thunders of applause. The fifty Dizzards on the Musnud leap on each other’s necks as they whistle between their teeth. The one hundred Zanys rattle their wind-bags furiously._ NOXUS PODUNKUS, _being simultaneously beaten by four stuffed clubs and tickled by four feather-dusters, while two Dizzards whistle in his ears, opens both eyes and looks blandly around._) NOXUS PODUNKUS (_With a fat, ingratiating smile, as the uproar continues._) Are we now beholding more divisions of the unconquerable forces of Truth, Virtue, Justice, Sobriety and Righteousness? Good! Good! (_He opens his mouth, which is immediately filled with souffle._) THE ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DIVISIONS (_Cakewalking, shamble-shuffling and tossing their hatchets, batons, musical instruments, etc., aloft._) Hail! Hail! The end of shame! (_They sing._) ’Tis now that we with joy behold The earth of virtue yield fourfold Of truth and right the crop is great-- Indeed, enough the world to sate!