"Oh, I was saved, but not from sorrow--not from shame! I awoke from that
deadly swoon to find myself alone, deserted, cast away! Oh, torn out
from the warmth and light and safety of my husband's heart, and hurled
forth shivering, faint and helpless upon the bleak world! and all this
in twenty-four hours. Ah, I did not lack the power of expression then!
happiness had never given it to me! anguish conferred it upon me; that
one fell stroke of fate cleft the rock of silence in my soul, and the
fountain of utterance gushed freely forth! I wrote to him, but my
letters might as well have been dropped into a well. I went to him, but
was spurned away. I prayed him with tears to have pity on our unborn
babe; but he laughed aloud in scorn and called it by an opprobrious
name! Letters, prayers, tears, were all in vain. He never had
acknowledged our marriage; he now declared that he never would do so; he
discarded me, disowned my child and forbade us ever to take his name!"
"Oh, Marah! and you but seventeen years of age! without a father or a
brother or a friend in the world to employ an advocate!" exclaimed
Herbert, covering his face with his hands and sinking back.
"Nor would I have used any of these agencies had I possessed them! If my
wifehood and motherhood, my affections and my helplessness were not
advocates strong enough to win my cause, I could not have borne to
employ others!"
"Oh, Marah, with none to pity or to help; it was monstrous to have
abandoned you so!"
"No; hush! consider the overwhelming evidence against me; I considered
it even in the tempest and whirlwind of my anguish, and never once
blamed and never once was angry with my husband; for I knew--not life,
but the terrible circumstantial evidence had ruined me!"
"Ay, but did you not explain it to him?"
"How could I, alas! when I did not understand it myself? How Le Noir
knew that Major Warfield was not expected home that fatal night--how he
got into my house, whether by conspiring with my little maid or by
deceiving her--or, lastly, how Major Warfield came to burst in upon him
so suddenly, I did not know, and do not to this day."
"But you told Major Warfield all that you have told me?"
"Oh, yes! again and again, calling heaven to witness my truth! In vain!
he had seen with his own eyes, he said. Against all I could say or do
there was built up a wall of scornful incredulity, on which I might have
dashed my brains out to no purpose."
"Oh, Marah, Marah! with none to pity or to save!" again exclaimed
Herbert.
"Yes," said the meek creature, bowing her head; "God pitied and helped
me! First he sent me a son that grew strong and handsome in body, good
and wise in soul. Then He kept alive in my heart faith and hope and
charity. He enabled me, through long years of unremitting and
ill-requited toil, to live on, loving against anger, waiting against
time, and hoping against despair!"
"Why did you leave your western home and come to Staunton, Marah?" asked
Herbert.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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