Produced by ellinora, Harry Lamé and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) Transcriber’s Notes Text that were printed in italics in the source document has been transcribed between _underscores_. Small capitals have been changed to ALL CAPITALS. More Transcriber’s Notes may be found at the end of this text. [Illustration] [Illustration: STOP!] No reader will be permitted to pass beyond this page who is not actually _in_ society. This book is not for those who dwell in the gloom of mere respectability, or the blaze of sheer wealth. It is a pasturage intended solely for those who bask in the sunlight of the smartest society. Those whose social standing could conceivably be classed with that of brewers, green-grocers, minor poets, munition magnates, linen drapers, provincial actors, and cubist sculptors, _must not_ trespass within these covers. BUT-- If your name appears in all the Social Directories; if you are a member of six or eight fashionable clubs; if you never plan a dinner without unpotting a pound or so of pâté de foie gras; if you never witness an opera except from an opera box; if you never go to the city except in an imported motor-car, why _then_ just knock at the title page, open the door, walk in, take off your monocle--or your turreted tiara--and make yourself perfectly at home. [Illustration] AN INVITATION TO THE READER _Elucidating the Little May-Pole Festival on the following page_ Reader, will you join a gay dance Of the younger Social Set, And, amid their merry May-dance, Personally pirouette? Don a garment, smart and snappy, Wear your most engaging smile, Banish boredom and be happy-- In the world of chic and style. Cedric woos Celeste--who dances-- Vowing love that never dies; Ethel sees adoring glances In athletic Albert’s eyes; Peter--solvent as Mæcenas, Lures a mermaid to the shore, Telling her she looks like Venus, Which, of course, she’s heard before. You may dance, while Signor Cupid Fiddles an entrancing tune; Or, if you find jazzing stupid, There are gardens--and a moon! Life, and all its animation Bids us join the mad mêlée, And, to use an old quotation, Gather rose-buds while we may. Every make of merry mortal, Wise or otherwise, is here, And this page is but the portal Of another world made clear. Yes, a world, and you may buy it In this giddy, gaudy book, Though, of course, I can’t deny it Has a rather Fish-y look! G. S. C. [Illustration] The Social Merry-Go-Round