Hildebrand; or, The Days of Queen Elizabeth, An Historic Romance, Vol. 3 of 3Anonymous
History
Hildebrand; or, The Days of Queen Elizabeth, An Historic Romance, Vol. 3 of 3
Anonymous
Great Britain -- History -- Elizabeth, 1558-1603 -- Fiction
The awful adventure of the morning had unnerved him, and, in the
superstitious spirit already ascribed to him, he thought that the
apparition of his wife, which he believed it to have revealed,
was a warning that his own end was approaching. How could he
die?--he, whose whole life, as far as his memory could carry him
back, had been one course of guilt? Yet why could he not die,
if to die, as he persuaded himself he believed, were to end--to
dissolve into the elements, and be no more? There was a doubt--a
craven doubt,--and that withheld him.
When Abigail and her two helpmates proceeded to his deceased
wife’s chamber, and he was thus, as he believed, protected from a
repetition of his recent ghostly adventure, he ventured to return
to his dormitory. A bible was lying on his toilet-table, and,
on his entry, was the first object that, in his survey of the
chamber, seemed to interest him. It was open, and, after musing a
moment, something whispered him, in pursuance of the thoughts he
had been following, that it was a book of lies, and he determined
to shut it up. He approached it with that view; but, as he caught
up the cover, his eye involuntarily turned on the open page, and
there read these words--“Thou fool! this night thy soul shall be
required of thee!”
Shedlock drew back appalled. In the mood he was in, the passage
appeared to him like “the handwriting on the wall;” and yet, by a
singular and unaccountable infatuation, he rejected the authority
of the volume by which it was furnished. He tried to ponder on
other things, but, the more he sought to divert his thoughts,
the more did the one terrible fear of death, which had taken
possession of his heart, grow and twine round them, and taint
each individual reflection with its harrowing horror.
He became even more unnerved on the approach of night. Afraid to
remain alone, he directed Zedekiah, in a tone that admitted of
no question, to make up another bed in his chamber, and there
watch him during the night. His injunction was fulfilled, but the
precaution suggested by his fears, and from which he had hoped to
have derived a degree of assurance, had no effect on his mind,
and, however he might strive to compose it, it still would offer
no thought but the one racking anticipation of approaching death.
He was quite without hope: even life itself, if it should be
extended to him, had lost its charm--it could no more present to
him the image of reality. As this reflection occurred to him, his
heart burned again, and he asked himself why, if it were to bear
on him like a burden, he should continue to endure life. Only the
fear of what might succeed it could make it any way tolerable.
Did he believe, then, that it was but the prelude to another
existence? No! certainly not! For what reason, then, should he
cling to it?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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