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Hints to servants : $b being a poetical and modernised version of Dean Swift's celebrated "Directions to servants;" in which something is added to the original text, but those passages are omitted which cannot with propriety be read aloud in a kitchen — John Shaqi

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Hints to servants : $b being a poetical and modernised version of Dean Swift's celebrated "Directions to servants;" in which something is added to the original text, but those passages are omitted which cannot with propriety be read aloud in a kitchen

Name: Hints to servants : $b being a poetical and modernised version of Dean Swift's celebrated "Directions to servants;" in which something is added to the original text, but those passages are omitted which cannot with propriety be read aloud in a kitchen
Author: Swift, Jonathan

Swift, Jonathan

Household employees -- Poetry; Swift, Jonathan, 1667-1745 -- Parodies, imitations, etc.

When once you've broke the kitchen poker,
    (A hardish job, as some may view it,
    Yet some of you know how to do it);
    Or Master's cane may go to wrack,
    To keep it off the stoker's back!
      Still 'one more word': I do beseech you,
    If _disapproving_ aught I teach you,--
    (Which I not only won't resent,
    But deem my _highest compliment_,
    The _true_ intent 'no how' mistook,
    With which I really wrote this book,)
    Simply from EVERY LESSON vary,
    And 'take and do' the '_clean contráry_!'
    Your fellow-servants thus alarming,
    Say that "variety is charming:"
    Let 'em keep mimicking and watching,
    And may they find that "mocking's _catching_!"
      But one more rhyme I now can hitch in,
    To swell the 'GLORIES OF THE KITCHEN;'
    Where you may romp and break the chairs,
    Discuss all family affairs,
    What to refuse, and what to grant,
    What you 'shall' do, and what you 'shan't:'
    Laugh, sing, and squall, vote care a viper,
    Dancing while Master 'pays the piper,'
    And boast the jovial, endless cheer,
    Which makes it 'CHRISTMAS ALL THE YEAR!'

[Illustration]

       *       *       *       *       *

Transcriber's note: Only most obvious punctuation errors repaired. The
opening quotes in the final poem are as printed in the original.

_The Coachman_ is located on page 61 although the table of contents
places it at 60. The table of content has been changed to reflect the
actual location of the poem.





End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Hints to Servants, by An Upper Servant

Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.

Hints to servants : $b being a poetical and modernised version of Dean Swift's celebrated "Directions to servants;" in which something is added to the original text, but those passages are omitted which cannot with propriety be read aloud in a kitchen

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